Frustrated

Confession... I watch Teen Mom. I'm addicted. I think I've cried during almost every episode. I love it and hate it at the same time. These girls are so young! They have hard decisions to make, hard times to get through. I can't imagine being 16 and pregnant. I can't imagine having a baby at 16, or even at 18, 21 or even 25. Having to make a decision like keep it or...even though I think the only choice I'd have been able to make in that situation would be to be a mom, I'm thankful that I never had to make that choice. As soon as I became sexually active I knew what the consequence could be. And I was sure to be careful. My sister got pregnant at 21 (I was 9 when my nephew was born). She wasn't in a relationship, they were "just friends". I watched what she went through, I guess that was enough for me to know to be careful. I spent years preventing that from happening to me. I was 26 when I got married and I'm SO glad I didn't marry any of my ex's I thought I wanted to spend forever with. I married a man I really truly love. He's not perfect and sometimes he annoys the heck out of me but I love him more then anything and I can't imagine my life without him. I can't imagine having babies with anyone else, growing old with anyone else. I'm so thankful for him and what we have together. We both have good jobs (his better the mine but whose counting lol), we're homeowners of a nice house that's in a nice neighborhood full of kids, we live in a place that is soooo kid and family friendly. It's like this place was made for families! We are ready to have a family. To have a baby. We aren't 16 year olds trying to finish high school, living with our parents, trying to figure out who we are and who we want to be and raise a baby. We have a crib, high chair, swing, box of baby clothes and a room waiting to be made into a nursery. We just need that main thing...the baby. But it hasn't happened yet. We've only been trying (well really just "not preventing") for 2 months, but seriously?!?! These girls get knocked up before they even know what happened! I've wanted and waited for this for so long why can't it just happen? I'm hoping that this month will be our month. That'll make for a June baby. June is my hubby's bday month too! My mom is waiting and wanting a grandbaby so badly. Her grandson is 18, so she's defiantly been waiting for this for a long time! She'll be here for Thanksgiving, and then again for Christmas, and I know she would be beyond happy to see a itty bitty baby growing in her baby girls tummy (baby girl being me!). My brother will be going to Iraq for a year and I know he'd be so excited to come back and visit a little niece or nephew. We have so much love to give a little one. I'm not saying there wont be hard times or difficulty, but were ready. We want it. We want to be a family. And these girls get it so easily is frustrating.

Here's to a productive October!!! I don't think productive is the right word but it's all I can come up with right now! All crossables are crossed and I'm hoping this month is our month!!!



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