Cleaning

AF showed up on Tuesday. That sucks. I was really hopeful this month, so I was really upset when she showed up. It was all I focused on and thought about for the last 2 weeks. I was really bummed yesterday. But today my focus has shifted and I'm back to "focus on myself" mindset. The past few months I've been trying to focus on myself and by the time I think I'm close to ovulation my mind shifts to that. I think "I'll just pee on 1 little stick to see if I'm right" then if it's negative "well I'll just keep testing just to see when I ovulate so I can keep track of that". Yeah right. You can't focus on that without making sure you do "it" at the right times. Or at least I can't. It's all consuming. Then it becomes "I ovulated, we did it, this could be it! Or maybe it's just like every other month. Or maybe things happened just right this month!" and on and on. Then AF shows up and I'm sad and depressed about it and then I'm all motivated again. This shit consumes my life. It's a horrible cycle.

One of the main things that doesn't get taken care of is housework. I hate cleaning. I love it when every things nice and clean, but I hate the process of getting it that way. Our house isn't "dirty" but I'd be embarrassed if someone came over. It's messy and needs to be cleaned. Our large kitchen counter is a catch all and stuff just piles up, so then the dining table becomes a place for us to drop stuff off instead of putting it away. We've lived in our house for 1 year and I still struggle with finding a way to do it all, keep it all clean without overwhelming myself. It's always gets to a point where I just have to clean the whole house at one time and it's overwhelming. We have a 4 bedroom, 3 1/2 bathroom, 3 story house (including finished basement). So I'm going to try something different. I made a list and I'm going to clean certain rooms on different days. Here's my plan so far : Monday's-clean bathrooms, wash towels and rugs. Tuesday's-clean kitchen, dining area, and living room. Wednesday's-change/wash sheets, clean bedroom, pick up craft room of needed. Fridays-clean basement living room. I think that this will work out some much better then spending pretty much a whole day cleaning the whole house! And I made the cleaning schedule based on my work schedule so I know I'll have enough time on each of those days to do the cleaning I need to do! I think I'll be better able to enjoy my days off work because I won't have to spend it cleaning, I'll be able to do things I want to do like craft projects! Now hopefully I can find a way to fit in daily workouts too. Next week my goal is going to be to wake up earlier and work out...I'm so not a morning person so it's going to be rough. But I have to make it a priority. For my health. For my happiness. And hopefully i can keep up with these goals and stay motivated the whole month and beyond! I'm also going to try very hard not to use any ovulation tests and not worry about TTCing. I know it'll be in the back of my head, but that's ok as long as it doesn't consume my mind, time, and energy. I need to take control of my life outside of TTCing.

Hopefully July will be a month of keeping a clean house, working out, eating healthy, and getting some craft projects accomplished! It's also our 2 year wedding anniversary and well be going to park city for a weekend and my mom will also be visiting us for a week! Yay! July is going to be a fun and (hopefully) successful month for me!

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