Happy New Year!

This time last year I was bringing in the new year sparkling cider in my wine glass. I remember sitting on the couch and looking at the Christmas tree and thinking about the fact that I was pregnant. And thanking God. I wanted it for so long and tired for so long and it was finally real (although not officially yet since I wouldn't have the blood test for a few more days). This past year was amazing. I enjoyed (mostly) 37 weeks of a very healthy pregnancy and delivered my perfect baby boy at 37 weeks 1 day. He's already grown and changed so much in this past 4 short months since he arrived, I can't wait to see what the next year holds...and at the same time I want to keep him little forever!

Anyways...I don't want to make New Years resolutions because I feel like they are overrated. By the middle of January you've already forgotten about them or failed at them. So I'm not starting a diet/workout regime on January 1st or anything like that. BUT I do have goals for 2014 and here they are :
*Eat healthier; aim to eat 3 smaller meals and 2 snacks a day. Eat more fruits and veggies, make healthier dinners. Eat at the dinner table as a family more often.
*Work out. Be more active. Get stronger. Even if it's just for 5 minutes aim to do something everyday to accomplish this.
*Get my sh!t together. Get more organized. Get ride of clutter.
*Keep up on household chores. Do 1 load of laundry a day (or fold what's in the basket if there isn't laundry to do). Do one chore every day. Vacuum one day. Dust another. Clean bathrooms one day. Mop floors another. Clean kitchen one day. And make a cleaning schedule for things that need to be done less often (wiping down walls and baseboards).
*Improve my marriage. Make time for each other. Go on dates. Talk to my husband more.
*Find a way to give. Somewhere to volunteer, or to give to the less fortunate.


For now that is all of them, I might think of more!


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Night #4

Last night Jackson went to bed easily. He fell asleep about half way thru his bottle and I put him in his crib at 8. At 12:30 he woke up and I went in and put his bink in, within 5 minutes he was back to sleep! He woke up again at 6 and I let him fuss again for a few minutes because he was just fussing not crying. He fell back to sleep within minutes and at 7 when he woke up I went and got him! Pretty good night. I'd love him to sleep from 8-7 every night!


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A deep breath

Today was the first day in a long time that I felt like I could take a deep breath and just relax. When I was working I was constantly on the go and didn't have time to get anything done. I was getting by, barely. I was doing the bare minimum and was slowly drowning. There just weren't enough hours in the day for work, spending time with Jackson, laundry, cooking, cleaning, keeping myself clean, me time and time for josh. Add Christmas fast approaching and my in laws coming to visit and the only thing keeping me from losing it was knowing I'd be done working soon. The laundry had piled up, Jackson's room was a mess...heck the whole house was a mess, the Christmas shopping wasn't done. I had my last day and left that day feeling a little lighter...until I thought about all the things I needed to do in the next few days...the next day (Saturday) we went shopping and I almost finished my Christmas shopping, Sunday my mom watched a very fussy Jackson while I cleaned the house, Monday we finished our Christmas shopping and went to the grocery store to get everything for Christmas dinner. Josh's parents where here so I was cooking for them, cleaning up after everyone and taking care of Jackson. Thank god for my mom, she helped so much. They left Friday evening for there hotel and to head home Saturday morning. My mom left Friday morning to go to CA to visit. Saturday josh and I went to lunch and the grocery store. I did some laundry on saturday too. And today I just took care of Jackson and relaxed. For the first time in a long time I only had to worry about me and Jackson. I fed him, played with him and we snuggled and in between all that, while he napped, I did some more laundry and I sewed. I've had burp cloths I've needed to make for baby gifts and more blankets for Jackson and I got to work on those. I made dinner for josh and myself and cleaned up the kitchen after. I didn't have to entertain anyone or make sure other people where happy and comfortable. I didn't even take a shower today. After Jackson went to bed I finished my sewing and now I need to go to sleep. Of course I still have a to do list a mile long, but there's no rush. I'll get it done. It's nice to just relax for a minute. To breath. To have time to do something I love, for myself and no one else. To snuggle and enjoy my little boy.


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Night #3

Last night was Jackson's third night in his room. He fell asleep after only drinking about half his bottle and I hate to put him bed thinking he didn't get enough to eat. So josh tried to get him to finish his bottle and ended up waking him up completely. He finished his bottle while watching music videos on you tube on daddy's phone. So he was pretty awake when I put him in his crib, it was sometime between 8:30-9. And he was pissed. He cried, I went in twice to try to put his bink back in and calm him down but he wasn't having it. He cried on and off until almost 10pm when he finally fell asleep. BUT he did sleep all night and didn't wake up until 6:45am! I'm so happy he's sleeping through he night and I really hope he keeps that up! Tonight I started his bedtime routine about 15 minutes early to see if he'd finish more of his bottle but he didn't. He only finished half (in about a 45 minute time frame) so I decided that at 8 no matter how much he'd finished if he was still sleeping and not drinking it I would put him to bed. So I did. At 8 I took him and put him on his crib. He opened his eyes and looked at, I put his bink in and left the room, when I got into the bedro and turned on the monitor he was already asleep. It's now 9:30 and he's still sound asleep. I figured if he wakes up before 10pm I will give him the rest of the bottle. Doesn't look like he'll wake up and hopefully he'll sleep through the night. If he does wake up I'll feel so bad thinking he's hungry that I'll probably nurse him.

I'm torn on if I should keep getting up in the middle of the night (like 3am) to pump or not. I love the extra milk I get at that time, but I don't know if it's worth then loss of sleep. And I don't know how it's possible but I feel more tired now that he's sleeping longer then I did when I was getting up a few times a night! What the heck?!

I've been taking fenugreek to help boost my supply to keep up with him but I think it might be making his tummy hurt, so I've stopped taking it and I'm terrified that I won't be able to keep up. I'm trying to stay supper hydrated and pump/nurse extra times throughout the day to try to keep it up/boost my supply.


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4 month pics

I finally got around to taking Jackson's 4 month pictures...10 days late, but better late then never right?!









And a comparison:



He's getting so big! And changing so much! His little personality is really starting to come out and it's getting easier and easier to get a smile from him! He LOVES to snuggle and be held but he's getting more independent and able to lay on a blanket on the floor or on the bed and "play". He's getting better at grabbing toys and of course everything goes straight into his mouth. He has laughed twice and I can't wait to hear it more and for him to giggle! He's starting to outgrow his pants so he is starting to wear size 9 month pants! Everything else is still 6 months. The white onesie he's wearing in the pics is 0-3 months. I need to buy some bigger white onesies for his monthly pics because I don't think this one will for his 5 month pics!

Here's some random pics:
Passed out last night:


After his bath tonight:

Night #2

Last night was Jackson's second night in his room! And he slept from 8:30pm to 6:30am without waking up! Of course I kept waking up expecting him to wake up so I didn't really get to take advantage of it and get a good nights sleep, but it was better sleep then I've gotten in a long time! At about 6:20 I decided to pump because I know I was way too full to fed him and couldn't wait any longer. Of course he woke up while I was pumping! So I just pumped 5 oz and stopped and fed him. Since I've gotten as much as 11 oz in the am I know he got plenty to eat!

Last night I fed him cereal while we were eating dinner. He did better but is still getting the hang of it and didn't swallow much. So I put the rest of the cereal into his bedtime bottle. It wasn't much and it was pretty water downed with breast milk. I hate wasting the breast milk and I thought maybe it would help full him up and keep him full longer. Maybe it helped or maybe he was just ready to sleep through the night or maybe it was just a fluke. We'll see if it continues. But I think I'll probably keep doing that with the cereal, whatever he doesn't eat just add it to his bedtime bottle. We do cereal right before his bath, and he has his bedtime bottle right after his bath.


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Video monitor

Back when Jackson was 2 months old we tried to put him into his room and I just wasn't comfortable with it yet and he was still waking up to nurse and it just wasn't the right time yet, but during those 2 or 3 nights I decided we really need a videos monitor when we do put him into his room. So Josh mentioned it to his parents and they said that they'd get it for us for Christmas! So we went to babies r us today and they got it for us. So we put it up and tonight he's in his crib! He passed out while josh was giving him his bottle, he didn't even finish his bottle, and I took him and took him into his room and put him into his crib and he didn't even wake up. He was sound asleep. So he didn't have his bink in. He slept for about 30 minutes before he woke up. He didn't cry though, he just moved around for about 30 minutes. Finally I decided to go in there and put his bink in his mouth. After that he was asleep within about 5 minutes! It's been close to 45 minutes and he's still sleeping! I'm just laying on bed writing posts (the Christmas one and this one) and watching him. It's so neat being able to see him! And the monitor is awesome! I can move the camera from the monitor screen and zoom in! It even tells us the temp in there on the screen! I have a feeling I won't get much sleep tonight! I miss my baby being within arms reach!







He slept until 3am! He woke up and started crying so I went in there to reassure him since it's his first night in there. I put his bink back in and rubbed his head for a minute. He had managed (for the second night in a row) to get his left hand out of the swaddle so I fixed that. Then I left the room. He started crying with a minute it two and he cried for 25 minutes before quieting down. He stopped crying and within 5 minutes was back asleep without his bink in!

He woke up again at 4:25 and I decided to wait 30 minutes this time (like our pedi recommended) he cried for 20 mins before falling back to sleep. The next time he wakes up I will go and nurse him. I'm hoping it's 7 or later, but I have a feeling I'll be lucky if I'm able to get even 1 more hour of sleep!

He woke up at 7. Not too horrible for the first night! Hopefully it will continue to get better over the next few nights! I'd love to get him sleeping from 8pm to 7am!