Today was the first day in a long time that I felt like I could take a deep breath and just relax. When I was working I was constantly on the go and didn't have time to get anything done. I was getting by, barely. I was doing the bare minimum and was slowly drowning. There just weren't enough hours in the day for work, spending time with Jackson, laundry, cooking, cleaning, keeping myself clean, me time and time for josh. Add Christmas fast approaching and my in laws coming to visit and the only thing keeping me from losing it was knowing I'd be done working soon. The laundry had piled up, Jackson's room was a mess...heck the whole house was a mess, the Christmas shopping wasn't done. I had my last day and left that day feeling a little lighter...until I thought about all the things I needed to do in the next few days...the next day (Saturday) we went shopping and I almost finished my Christmas shopping, Sunday my mom watched a very fussy Jackson while I cleaned the house, Monday we finished our Christmas shopping and went to the grocery store to get everything for Christmas dinner. Josh's parents where here so I was cooking for them, cleaning up after everyone and taking care of Jackson. Thank god for my mom, she helped so much. They left Friday evening for there hotel and to head home Saturday morning. My mom left Friday morning to go to CA to visit. Saturday josh and I went to lunch and the grocery store. I did some laundry on saturday too. And today I just took care of Jackson and relaxed. For the first time in a long time I only had to worry about me and Jackson. I fed him, played with him and we snuggled and in between all that, while he napped, I did some more laundry and I sewed. I've had burp cloths I've needed to make for baby gifts and more blankets for Jackson and I got to work on those. I made dinner for josh and myself and cleaned up the kitchen after. I didn't have to entertain anyone or make sure other people where happy and comfortable. I didn't even take a shower today. After Jackson went to bed I finished my sewing and now I need to go to sleep. Of course I still have a to do list a mile long, but there's no rush. I'll get it done. It's nice to just relax for a minute. To breath. To have time to do something I love, for myself and no one else. To snuggle and enjoy my little boy.
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