CA

Our flight left the Salt Lake City airport around 11 am. Jackson did really well! We took so much stuff though! That was the hardest part. Luckily Josh dropped us off at the airport and my mom and him took as much as they could carry, while I got Jackson out and into the carrier and then got his car seat out, into the airport and my mom stayed in there with the stuff while josh came back out and took another load of stuff. Then we went in and checked our bags, stroller and car seat. We headed to our gate and found a place to sit and I went and got something to eat while mom sat with Jackson. When I came back I looked around and picked a place I thought was kinda out of the way, only 4 seats kinda away from any other seats and no one was sitting there. So I got him settled into the carrier to nurse him and my mom went to get food for herself. Well I get started, with a blanket over Jackson, and look up and I'm pretty much on display! I can see all the people sitting in the middle area of the terminal and while they aren't close they can all see me. It was pretty funny.

The flight went really well. He only fussed a few times and briefly. He would not nurse on the plane though so I'm glad I brought bottles of pumped milk.

We got to CA and after it took forever to get the rental car we headed straight to Katharine's work to surprise her! I had booked my mom a massage with her and my mom went in and then said she thought she forgot to lock the car and then when she walked back in me and Jackson walked in behind her. Katharine was shocked. Completely and totally. She got all teary eyed and of course so did I! Katharine didn't have anyone else for the day so we went to grandmas and got our stuff unloaded. Katharine and I were going to go dinner and take J but he was do fussy and needed a nap so we left him with them and went to dinner at rattlers. When I was at dinner Kim texted me asking me to go over there to see the kids. It was getting late and had been a long day but I decided to go over there to get it over with. I love them but sometimes dealing with Kim isn't the easiest. So my mom and I went over there and hung out for a little while. Then we had to go to target to get diapers and stuff for lunch the next day. That night Jackson slept horribly. He was up at least every hour and finally at about 3am I brought him into bed with me, nursed him lying in bed and then we slept for a few hours.
Friday we had Kim, Carrie, Margaret and Tari, Greg and Judy over for lunch. We had chips and dip and cold cuts. It was really nice to sit and relax and chat with everyone. I miss family events. Jackson was good, a little fussy at times. Margaret taught us something brilliant-to sit on an exercise ball with Jackson also sitting on it right in front and bounce him. He loved it, now I need to go buy one! Great for when he's fussy. As everyone was leaving Lyly and the boys got there. She came later after the boys got out of school because they wanted to see us. We sat and chatted with her for awhile. That night me, mom and grandma took Jackson for a walk and then mom went over to a friends house. I bathed J and put him to bed and then I watched tv and chatted with grandma. It was so nice to have that time with her. I really wish we didn't live so far away so I could spend more time with her. She really loved having us there and spending time with Jackson.

On Saturday I went to target to get wrapping stuff for Cynthia's gift and Melissa's baby gift. I left J with mom and grandma. Then we got ready and went to Cynthia's party. She was SO shocked to see us! It was fun, but j got fussy as the evening wore on. I ended up getting the ergo out of the car and got him to fall asleep in that for awhile. Finally he just had a complete meltdown so we headed home. I bathed him and put him to bed. He didn't sleep great any of the nights we where there and ended up in bed with me in the early am hours.

Sunday morning we packed up and left grandmas and went and got western bagel to take to nick and Sami's. There house is really cute. They seemed (Sami specifically) not too thrilled to have us there. I'm guessing they had been fighting or something. They just weren't very welcoming and didn't seem too excited about Jackson. Jackson was really fussy and a little warm and seemed like he didn't feel good. I had had a bit of a cold and it seemed like he was getting it. My mom was getting it too. I have him some baby Tylenol and that seemed to help. Then we went to the airport. Once we got on the plane and took off I got him into the carrier and he slept the whole flight! He was fussy when we got home and josh took him and gave him a bath while I got everything unpacked.

We had a great trip! It went by way too fast. I wish I had more time to spend with my family and friends!

On the airplane:





Cousins, thumb sucking, napping is just a onesie (loved seeing him in less clothing!), and going out in short sleeves not all bundled up:


Napping, uncle Nick, more
napping:


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SAHM

I am officially a stay at home mom! I've really been struggling with working. Although the actual work I was doing for josh is easy and the hours aren't bad it was still really hard for me. I want to be with my son. I want to be the main one taking care of him. I know it's dumb to a lot of women but my dream has always been to be stay at home mom and wife. Take care of the baby (eventually babies), clean the house, cook dinner. My mom, Jackson and I went to CA this past weekend and the weekend away made me realize just how unhappy I was and it was really making me resent josh. It was killing our marriage. I was sad to come home on Sunday, I just wanted to stay in CA and having those feelings made me sad. I want to love my life here in UT with my son sand husband. So josh and I talked and he looked at our finances and we really think we can make it work. Money will be tight and we will be on a pretty strict budget. I'm going to try to make healthy meals cheaply. But we will be able to pay our bills and put a little into our savings each month. I am going to open an etsy page and try to sell burp cloths, blankets and car seat canopies. Whatever money I can make doing that will be extra, fun money.

I was so afraid to tell my mom. She moves here to watch Jackson while I work and I didn't want her to feel like she uprooted her life for no reason. But she thinks it's good and of course still wants to be here! She will watch him while I sew and work on getting that going. I'm also hoping that my gym membership is still good (it was a 2 year membership we paid for upfront) and she'll watch him while I go to the gym.

I really hope that we can make this work and be happy. Our marriage is already happier and I feel so much better! Jackson has only been having 1 bottle a day (at bedtime and josh gives it to him) and that makes me so happy! Pumping and being able to provide him breast milk was great but not having to pump all day and being able to be here to just nurse him is amazing. I'm also hoping I can find a free or really cheap mommy and me class!


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SAHM

I am officially a stay at home mom! I've really been struggling with working. Although the actual work I was doing for josh is easy and the hours aren't bad it was still really hard for me. I want to be with my son. I want to be the main one taking care of him. I know it's dumb to a lot of women but my dream has always been to be stay at home mom and wife. Take care of the baby (eventually babies), clean the house, cook dinner. My mom, Jackson and I went to CA this past weekend and the weekend away made me realize just how unhappy I was and it was really making me resent josh. It was killing our marriage. I was sad to come home on Sunday, I just wanted to stay in CA and having those feelings made me sad. I want to love my life here in UT with my son sand husband. So josh and I talked and he looked at our finances and we really think we can make it work. Money will be tight and we will be on a pretty strict budget. I'm going to try to make healthy meals cheaply. But we will be able to pay our bills and put a little into our savings each month. I am going to open an etsy page and try to sell burp cloths, blankets and car seat canopies. Whatever money I can make doing that will be extra, fun money.

I was so afraid to tell my mom. She moves here to watch Jackson while I work and I didn't want her to feel like she uprooted her life for no reason. But she thinks it's good and of course still wants to be here! She will watch him while I sew and work on getting that going. I'm also hoping that my gym membership is still good (it was a 2 year membership we paid for upfront) and she'll watch him while I go to the gym.

I really hope that we can make this work and be happy. Our marriage is already happier and I feel so much better! Jackson has only been having 1 bottle a day (at bedtime and josh gives it to him) and that makes me so happy! Pumping and being able to provide him breast milk was great but not having to pump all day and being able to be here to just nurse him is amazing. I'm also hoping I can find a free or really cheap mommy and me class!


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First flight!

Tomorrow Jackson is going on his very first flight! We are flying from Utah to SoCal! I'm so excited to go see katharine! I can't wait for her to see how much J has changed! And grown! He's a big guy now! It's going to be a very busy, jam packed weekend trying to for everything in. I'm surprising katharine at her work tomorrow. She knows my mom is coming and I asked her if she has anything available I want to treat my mom to a massage to thank her for everything she does for us and for her bday. So she thinks she's giving my mom a massage but instead she's getting me and J! Then Friday we are having Greg and Judy, Margaret, Tari, Lyly, Carrie and maybe Kim over to grandmas for lunch. Saturday is Cynthia's party and not sure what we'll do in the am. And Sunday we are going to nick and Sami's house before we head to the airport since nick is out of town until Saturday afternoon.

Getting ready to travel with a baby is challenging! At least when we went to CA for nicks wedding when J was almost 6 weeks old we drove so we had more room for stuff! We are borrowing a pack and play and I'll buy diapers and baby food when we get there. I'm sure I'm taking to much stuff but I'd rather be safe then sorry! Navigating the airport with our suitcases, stroller (which is in a travel bag but huge), car seat and baby should be fun! I plan on wearing him in the ergo so that should be easier!

I'll also get thrown right into nursing in public. I've pretty much been able to avoid doing it for 5 months but I plan on mainly nursing him this weekend. And nursing him on the plane. It's just such a hassle to deal with pumping and bottles so I want to avoid that as much as I can. Hopefully my mom and I will get all 3 seats in the row to ourselves and have a smooth flight!


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Summer clothes!

This summer we are going to carpenteria! I am so excited to be taking Jackson to one of my most favorite places! Although we don't camp anymore like we did when I was little (how in the hell did they camp with all the kids?! I can't even imagine!). Both my cousins in Georgia are coming and bringing their little ones! Piper will be about 18 months, Luke will have just turned one and J will be 10 months! I can't wait to get the little ones together! My other cousins with their older kids will also be there and I'm not sure if the AZ/CO cousins will be coming with there kids.

Well I started buying J's summer wardrobe! Can't wait to see his chubba thighs in these!


There was another Carter's outfit (we were at kilns) that I saw that is so adorable, it's summery colors and it's sweats a onesie and a hoodie that says "surf". It's perfect for the color times at the beach but they didn't have 12 months (which is what I'm hoping he'll be wearing then because 18 months looks way too big) so I'm determined to find it! And some cute shorts and onesie/shirt outfits! So a trip to babies r us and Carter's is needed! I seriously have an addiction to buying my son cute clothes!

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Daily dose of little J

Last night Jackson slept from 8pm-8am!!! Woohoo! He woke up at around 4 and I went and put his bink in and he fussed for a little bit then feel asleep and he woke up again at around 5:30, my plan was to let him fuss for a few minutes and then go in there, but he feel back to sleep and slept until 8! I wish that would happen every night...just without him waking up!

I tried to get him to take a nap today in his crib, on his back, and un swaddled. It didn't happen. He screamed! He was so mad. I let him cry for a little while and even went in and picked him up and stood there holding him and swaying back and forth then tried it again. No luck. Then I went in and flipped him over onto his tummy and he slept for about an hour. I think I'll start trying that everyday, to lay him on his back and let him cry for 15-20 minutes and then flip him over if I need to. Eventually, hopefully, he'll fall asleep and be able to sleep un swaddled. He's getting closer and closer to rolling over and I'm sure once he masters that and can sleep un swaddled at night he'll put himself on his tummy. He was a little fussy today and has a lot of gas. Didn't poop today. I think the fenugreek and brewers yeast I'm taking to boost my milk supply might be causing so I'm stopping them and we'll see what happens. And he's been spitting up A LOT the past few days. Super fun.

Here's some pictures from today:

In an outfit Lyly got him for Christmas! So cute! Sometimes he really makes you work for a smile!


















He's grabbing everything now! My nose, mouth, he even pulled my glasses off today and when I tried to take a picture of him he grabbed my phone and was upset that I wouldn't let him have it!






He looked so cute sitting with daddy I had to get a picture...getting a pic of both of them looking good was a challenge! His belly was looking extra chubby tonight!











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Prunes

Poor Jackson hadn't pooped on 2 days and was really fussy and spitting up a lot yesterday. It was obvious that he didn't feel good and had a tummy ache. I got gerber prunes hoping it would help him go. Well when we got home and where eating dinner (before I fed him his prunes) he finally went! I've never been so happy for a poopy diaper! It made him feel MUCH better and he was a whole new baby. I still gave him prunes for dinner. He had gotten poop on his onesie and since I was just going to feed him then give him a bath I just threw his pants back on and a bib on and fed him! He loves prunes!
He was grabbing my hand and the spoon and then trying to suck the food off the spoon. He couldn't get enough!

Sleep

Woohoo! I was prepared for last night to be a bad night after the previous night but Jackson slept from 8pm to 6am without waking up one single time! And at 6 I woke up and looked at the monitor and he was awake. But he wasn't crying. He was just moving and looking around and "talking". So I went in to get him and he gave me a big smile! I wish every night and morning could be like this!

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Big boy!

Today Josh had LASIK so my mom went with me to drop him off since he'd be there for 2-2 1/2 hours. We had planned to go to a nearby furniture store for her to look for a new couch and of course we get there a little after 9 and the don't open until 10. So we went to super target to get some things we needed and exchange some clothes from Lyly that were to small for Jackson. After his LASIK we took him back home and then we went out to lunch and shopping (my mom and I). At zupas for lunch and we used the high chair/cart cover for the first time and he got to sit on the high chair!












He loved it and loved being able to look around at everyone/everything.

We also used it in a cart:



Such a big boy!

Although he has been a stinker today and is apparently on a sleep strike. He woke up at 2:30, 3:30, 4:15 and 4:45am. At 4:45 I brought him into bed with me, nursed him and let him sleep in our bed. He slept until about 7:30. Of course I had to get up at 7 to get ready to take josh for his LASIK. Usually Jackson sleeps most of the time we are out running errands. Not today. He took a 30 minute and 15 minute nap while we where out. But he was happy and not very fussy at all. When we got home close to 4pm I put him in his crib thinking he'd take a long nap...30 minutes later he was awake. So 1 hour 15 minutes total in naps today. Not good at all. This evening he's been fussy and I know he's beyond tired. Hopefully he goes to bed easily and sleeps well tonight. I need some sleep majorly!

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Avocado!

Tonight we tried avocado for the first time and Jackson loved it! I'm not a fan of avocado and I kinda thought he wouldn't like it but he loves it!



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Surprise

Cynthia's, my best friend Katharine's mom, 60th birthday is this month and they are having a big party for her. My mom decided that she wants to go home for the party to surprise Cynthia and she wants me and Jackson to go and offered to pay for our ticket! So I am going to surprise katharine! The party is on 25th, so only 2 weeks from this weekend. We're going to book our flights tomorrow! I'm so excited! I'm also so excited to see, and show J off to, my grandma, brother and sis in law, sister and other family and friends! I just hope I can keep the secret from here! I want to tell her so bad! We plan on flying in Thursday evening and I don't want to wait until Saturday at the party to see her so I'm thinking I'll figure something out with Ben, her boyfriend, to see her that evening (depending on what time we get there) or Friday. She knows my mom is coming but won't know I'm coming!


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Cuteness

Jackson loves this little "car" toy his grandparents got him for Christmas! It's up a little too high when we tried it in his bumbo seat today but he still loved it...until he couldn't lift it up to get it into his mouth...then he got mad!





Tonight while I was making dinner I was also making baby food for J and decided to let him try a piece of apple in this little silicone thing. He really liked it!








I made apples, peas and carrots tonight and froze them. He tried apples for the first time tonight and loved them! So far he loves pears and apples, doesn't like banana, and will eat sweet potatoes but doesn't love them.

And one more pic of my sweet boy sleeping right now:


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Back to work and other randomness

I started working for josh this week, and while it's easy work, I still hate being away from Jackson.

The work is simple but I'm training with a girl in the store she works at so the challenging part will be going into other stores on my own and trying to figure out where everything is and who I need to talk to. I'm going to be working in 2-3 other stores with her today and tomorrow so that might help, but I know every store will be different.

The other challenge is pumping in my car. It just kinda sucks. I would like to pump every 3 hours but I can't go more then 4 hours. It would just be easier some days to get in and get the work done without having to take a break. But I have to do what I have to do. There's no way I'm going to give up breast feeding. Pumping just sucks in general. It's not so bad doing it at night when Jackson has his bed time bottle, but having to do it 3-4 times a day sucks! I'd much rather nurse my baby. But oh well. And I'm still pumping in the middle of the night, I get 8+ oz, which gives me enough to freeze for 1 bottle and have extra to make up for when I don't get enough during the day. Like last night (at bedtime) I didn't get enough for 1 bottle but at 3am I got enough to add to it to make a full bottle and freeze 6 oz! He eats 5 oz usually but I give 6oz for his bedtime bottle. So as much as it sucks to wake up at 3ish am it's worth it to me to build my freezer stash. And I wake up on my own engorged and in pain from by boobs being full so I don't even have to set an alarm. It's just hard and so tiring when I'm not getting enough sleep. Usually Jackson will wake up/fuss at around 5am. Usually I let him fuss for a little while and see if he falls back to sleep. Lately I've sometimes been going in and nursing him in his room and then putting him back to bed. This morning he woke up at 5:45, I went and nursed him until 6:15 and then he slept until almost 7:30. Not great but better then being up and awake at 6:15. Now he's sleeping on my chest.

My mom was gone for a week and when she got back Saturday evening Jackson didn't recognize her at first! I had him on my lap facing me and my mom sat on the couch next to me and started talking to him. He looked at her then back at me and starting pouting and then he would look at her and start to do his whine/cry thing. Not full long crying, just short bursts of a whiny cry. She just sat and talked to him for awhile and he warmed up to her. Josh and I went to ikea on Sunday to get more furniture for our living room that were re doing. He was napping in his crib when we left and I was so worried he'd cry when he woke up and saw her, but he woke up happy and was happy with her!

His hair is growing little by little! I brushed it up into little fuzzy stripes after his bath lol:





He's VERY interested in the animals these days. He loves to touch/grab/pet the cats and he watches the dogs, especially Sadie, so intently. Here he is with Lucy.











I didn't get any pictures but last night I put him into his jumper and watching him play really shows how much he's changed recently. There's this sun toy on it and a few weeks ago he would stare at it intently and want to grab it but couldn't coordinate his hands enough to grab it, well last night he was grabbing it and can even pull it into his mouth now! He's changing and growing so much and so quickly!

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Randoms

Jackson is becoming more and more aware of his surroundings every day! When I try to take a picture of him he's so interested in my phone/camera. If I try to get a picture using the front camera on my phone he's so interested in seeing himself! Last night he was sitting on my lap and laid his head down and was snuggling with me, so I tried to take a pic and as soon as he saw the screen on my phone his head popped up!






He also notices and talks to himself in the mirror now! We look in the mirror every night at bath time and he smiles at himself! About a week ago he noticed the mirror on his car seat toys. I was in the back seat with him and his toy has and elephant with a mirror and then little toys that hand from it. He always looks at the toys but had never really paid attention to the mirror. I was watching him and he was looking up at the mirror and then smiled at himself! It was so cute!

He concentrates so hard on trying to grab things now and just in the last few days he has gotten so much better at getting his hands to to what he wants. He can intentionally touch/grab things now. He was grabbing his car seat toys at lunch on Thursday and tonight he was sitting on my lap grabbing my mouth, nose and trying to grab my glasses! And he pinches when he grabs. Ow. He also was trying to pet/grab Bella and Brody today! Poor animals don't know what they are in for in the coming months. He's also grabbing and pulling hair and necklaces now and tried to grab my earrings!

Eating solids is going ok. We stopped oatmeal because it seemed to be making him not poop! Poor boy was having HORRIBLE gas! We tried mashed banana thinned with breast milk last night and he didn't like it! It just came right back out of his mouth! I think it had a lot to do with the texture being different from the gerber pears and sweet potatoes. I tried a few bites then ended up giving him sweet potatoes, which he wasn't a big fan of last time, but liked them more this time. I bought apples and a pear and want to make some purées for him. Hopefully he'll like those! I also got an avocado for him to try.

He's doing pretty well sleeping in his crib. He goes to sleep much easier and the past few nights hasn't cried at all when I put him down for the night. I lay him down awake but very drowsy. He's usually already falling asleep by the end of his bottle. I turn on the iPod which plays white noise and I lay his glowy (glow seahorse) next to him and turn it on. He seems to really like it and I think it helps signify night night time. I make sure his bink is in and then I walk out and shut the door. Usually his bink falls out pretty quickly and that's when he used to cry, but now he just falls asleep! He still wakes up a few times in the early morning hours but it seems like he's sleeping longer and longer before that happens. Like he used to start to do that around 3 am (sometimes even earlier) and now it's more like 5 am. I try to get him to go till 7, but he's been getting his arm/arms out of his swaddle and then it's hard for him to settle himself so I usually have to go in there and re swaddle and put his bink in. Tonight (last night I guess since it's 6:30 am now) he went to bed at around 8 or 8:30 and he woke up at 5:50. I went in and nursed him and put him back in his crib and he went right back to sleep, we'll see how long he sleeps for. I'm hoping until 8, but I highly doubt it! He's doing much better about napping lately too! I try to put him in his crib for at least one nap a day and yesterday he napped from 11:30-2! 2 1/2 hours! That was a record. It's usually between 1-2 hours. He used to only take short catnaps and be super hard to get to take naps. Now all I have to do when he's tired is lay him on his tummy and put his bink in. If he's being stubborn and fighting sleep I'll pat his butt for a few minutes and he falls right to sleep. The other day play time turned into nap time!


Some picture catch up:
He woke up from a nap on our bed happy:


Chatting:


Needy baby, we were out running errands and the only way to keep his happy was with my hand reached back so he could hold it:


All bundled up for a walk:





Baby Houdini got one arm free:


Holding his own bottle:


Snuggling: