SAHM

I am officially a stay at home mom! I've really been struggling with working. Although the actual work I was doing for josh is easy and the hours aren't bad it was still really hard for me. I want to be with my son. I want to be the main one taking care of him. I know it's dumb to a lot of women but my dream has always been to be stay at home mom and wife. Take care of the baby (eventually babies), clean the house, cook dinner. My mom, Jackson and I went to CA this past weekend and the weekend away made me realize just how unhappy I was and it was really making me resent josh. It was killing our marriage. I was sad to come home on Sunday, I just wanted to stay in CA and having those feelings made me sad. I want to love my life here in UT with my son sand husband. So josh and I talked and he looked at our finances and we really think we can make it work. Money will be tight and we will be on a pretty strict budget. I'm going to try to make healthy meals cheaply. But we will be able to pay our bills and put a little into our savings each month. I am going to open an etsy page and try to sell burp cloths, blankets and car seat canopies. Whatever money I can make doing that will be extra, fun money.

I was so afraid to tell my mom. She moves here to watch Jackson while I work and I didn't want her to feel like she uprooted her life for no reason. But she thinks it's good and of course still wants to be here! She will watch him while I sew and work on getting that going. I'm also hoping that my gym membership is still good (it was a 2 year membership we paid for upfront) and she'll watch him while I go to the gym.

I really hope that we can make this work and be happy. Our marriage is already happier and I feel so much better! Jackson has only been having 1 bottle a day (at bedtime and josh gives it to him) and that makes me so happy! Pumping and being able to provide him breast milk was great but not having to pump all day and being able to be here to just nurse him is amazing. I'm also hoping I can find a free or really cheap mommy and me class!


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