Luckily AF is here. I've had some really light spotting and cramps for a few days but today she has officially arrived (TMI?! Oh well). I say luckily because, even though I wasn't expecting it until tomorrow, I was really struggling with trying not to think I was pregnant. I KNEW I wasn't, but the little voice in my head was trying to convince me otherwise. So I'm glad. It's here and it'll be gone in a few days. Time to move forward. I'm sticking to my guns and I am going to try really hard to focus on myself. On losing weight. It's something that I really need and want to do before I get pregnant and it might even help me get pregnant. That doesn't mean I'm going to prevent pregnancy from happening but I'm going to put TTCing on the back burner for a few months. Maybe through the end of the year, or maybe just for 2-3 months. It's going to depend on how much change I can make in myself, when I'm happier with myself, when I feel healthier, I'll put TTCing back to my main focus. I'm going to try to focus on small, short term goals to get me to my main goal. My first goal started this week and it's to lose 15 pounds by my birthday which is August 9th. I've already lost 2 pounds this week, so I'm hoping for 3 more this week and then 5 next week and the week after. It's not going to be easy but I think it'll be a good jump start and I really think I can do it. I've been trying to lower the amount of carbs I'm eating and that seems to really be helping! Carbs are one of my biggest problems when it comes to diet and weight loss. I feel like carbs (and sugar) have the biggest effect on my weight. I think that setting these smaller goals will make it easy to stay focused and feel successful on this weight loss journey. When I look at the big picture of how much weight I'd like to lose it can be discouraging. It's a big number (65 pounds) and sometimes seems unattainable, but when I make small goals and I'm able to reach those goals I will feel good. I will feel more motivated, like "wow, I did it! I reached this goal! Now onto the next one!" It will make the journey easier and more rewarding. I'm not sure what my next goal will be but I'm thinking maybe I will do 15 pound increments and pick a date on the calendar and some kind of small reward at the end of the goal if I reach my goal. Maybe a pedicure? And as I get closer to my end goal maybe my reward will me a new shirt or other piece of clothing. Or maybe a sushi dinner. I know I shouldn't reward myself with food, but if looking forward to a nice dinner out, eating my favorite food, with my hubby keeps me focused and motivates me I don't see anything wrong with that.
I'm going to try to get in some working out too, but my main focus is my diet. I know it's what will make the biggest difference.
I plan on weighing myself on Thursday and I'm hoping I can lose 3 pounds before then!
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