I'm a stay at home mom!

I'm a stay at home mom! This is something I think daily...multiple times a day. I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom. It's how I always pictured how it would be when I had a family, but as bad as I wanted it, it didn't look like it would be that way. But it is. What I always dreamed of is my reality. I love that I'm the one who gets my baby up every morning, I'm the one who puts him to bed every night. I'm the one who feeds him when he's hungry. I change his diapers. I can snuggle him and love on him whenever I want. I got to watch him grow, change, and learn every day. I get to be there to see him learn new tricks, master skills, reach milestones. I love it. I will admit that at times it's hard, tiring, frustrating even, but worth every moment. I am so incredible lucky to be able to be home with him. To be the one raising my son. I feel like after having to go back to work I appreciate this opportunity then some moms who just automatically get to be stay at home moms. I feel like they sometimes take it for granted. But after seeing how difficult it was to work AND take care of my baby I think this is easier. For some work is a "break" from taking care of the baby. But I didn't feel that way. I missed my baby like crazy, so when I was home all I wanted to do was spend my time with him, so household chores where falling by the wayside. And I was so tired from working and then taking care of Jackson that I was losing my patience more quickly, I was exhausted and resentful of josh. I had no time for myself. No time for my marriage.

Since being home that has changed. I'm so much happier. My marriage is better. I get things done during nap time, like cleaning, and sometimes, like today crafting! I cook healthy dinners almost every night. I love this life. I love being a stay at home mom.

I'm also very lucky to have my mom here. I joined a gym and I am able to go most days. I usually put Jackson down for his morning nap and give my mom the monitor and then go to the gym. She gets him and snuggles him and plays with him until I get back. And now that he's on a schedule I know when he'll need to eat and I can plan around that to be home by the time he needs to eat. She'll also sometimes watch him while I cook dinner. I try not to take advantage of her though. And I like feeling like I'm doing this whole wife/mom/homemaker thing without lots of help.

I love that I'm my sons favorite person, I'm sure it would be that way even if I worked, but I love the bond we have and that I get to spend so much time with him. I love the smile and excitement on his face when I come home from the gym and walk into the room and he sees me. Or when I go to get him in the morning or after a nap. I love that he reaches for me now and that it's obvious he prefers me.

I love this life. I love that I'm able to be home with my son.