"O"MG

I wrote this on Sunday (3/11) and it wouldn't post! I still don't know if I've ovulated this cycle. Either it happened super early, for me, or it hasn't happened yet, or it's not going to happen at all this cycle. I'm hoping it happened early because that gives me hope that I could be pregnant! I ovulate every month like clock work. I started taking B6, evening primrose and my prenatal hoping it would help me ovulate earlier. But WTF?!?! I'm so confused with this cycle. This morning I took an ovulation test and a pregnancy test. I KNEW the pregnancy test would be negative, even if by some miracle I am pregnant, it was too early to test. But I kinda felt like I had lost my mind this morning seeing 2 test strips on the bathroom counter. I tried so hard to see even the faintest 2nd line on that test, but it wasn't there. Maybe, by some miracle, it will be there in a few days.  I want this so bad.  But I'm on alert. I'm waiting for the spotting that always comes before AF. About 5 days before to be specific. Last week it started on CD22 and AF arrived on CD27. Today is CD20. 2 more days I can think, imagine, hope and pray that I'm pregnant. Then once again I'm sure my world will come crashing down around me and reality will set in that it's onto the next cycle. Cycle 10. I know that's not horrible. I know that MANY woman are on cycle 20 or 30 + and I can't imagine that pain. That heartbreak. I'm sure they are in so much more pain then me, but it still hurts. I'll be 29 in 5 months. 29. Wow. I seriously thought I'd have a baby by now. At the very least be pregnant. But I'm still waiting, praying, hoping for my miracle.  - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad