Children's Hospital

Today we spent the morning at CHLA (Childrens hospital Los Angeles) having tests done on Jackson. We needed to be there at 8:30, and not knowing how traffic would be, we decided to leave at 6:30 and we'd get breakfast down there if we got there early. So Josh got here at about 6:20 and we had to wake j up to go. He wasn't happy about that at all. He especially wasn't happy that josh was here. I left josh with him to get him dressed and quickly finished getting ready and getting everything packed for the day (water for j, his milk for in the car, snacks, a few small toys) and then we headed down there. We got there early and by the time we parked and got checked in we still had about 45 to waste. CHLA is a really nice, amazing hospital. We found the cafe and got breakfast and coffee and then we let j play on the little playground outside.


They had lots of cute Christmas decorations all over!











Then we went to radiology and checked in there and waited. We got called and went and had the ultrasound done. We had time to waste after that so we let I play outside again. Then we went back for the renal scan. We got called back and they took us to a room and a nurse practitioner explained the procedure and what they were going to do. A nice girl came over and gave j some toys to play with and and iPad to watch cartoons or play games on. We changed him into a little gown.


Seeing my baby boy in a hospital gown was both heart wrenching and adorable at the same time.


Then some nurses came and tried to get his IV placed. They tried 3 times and just couldn't get it. It was heartbreaking to see J so upset. I sat in the bed with him in my lap while they tried and I just wanted to take him and run. He was so mad.
They let him take a little break and called in the "IV team". I guess they are the IV pros and come when the nurses have a hard time. They got it in the first attempt, thank God. Then we were taken to another room for the renal scan.


They had us lay him in the table and wrapped him up and put in the catheter which was horrible too. He freaked out and started screaming so she had a hard time getting it in all the way but she finally did and he calmed down. The same nice girl with the toys from earlier came and turned on a movie for him and he had to lay there for 1 hour for the test. He did so amazing and didn't cry or fuss or fight it at all. The last 10 mins or so he was so over it and done and was whining a little, but was still so good.





We could see the scans on the little screen and at one point it looked like the kidney on the left was getting smaller and smaller and the right one wasn't. I honestly have no idea what I was looking at or seeing but that's what I got from what I saw. So it looked like his right kidney wasn't working properly. We'll find out for sure next week when we have the follow up with the specialist. He fell asleep within minutes of being in the car on the way home. I put him in his bed when we got home and he went right to sleep. About 30 minutes later he woke up crying. Usually he gets up and goes to the door but he didn't, he just stayed laying in his bed crying. So I went in and sat next to his bed and rubbed his head and told him it was ok and he went back to sleep. He ended up taking a good long nap and when he did wake up and he went and laid by his door calling for me. As soon as I opened the door he stood up and said "Doctor" then grabbed his diaper/crotch and said "peepee" then lifted his shirt and pointed to his tummy and said "pictures" he's so stinkin smart. Telling me want happened. Poor baby. He just wanted to snuggle with me and watch cartoons.

His hand was bruised from failed IV attempts


He perked up and nana brought home cookies and a blaze monster truck for him so he was happy!

I made him chocolate chip pancakes for dinner and he ate them while sitting on the counter while I was making them!



He was exhausted from his busy day. He rarely lays on the couch and watches cartoons, but he laid like this for a complete cartoon.



He went to bed easily and I'm hoping he gets a good nights sleep. We have our follow up appointment next Wednesday and I can't wait to see what the dr says. To know what's going on and have a plan.

Jackson's follow up

We went and saw Jackson's pediatrician as soon as he finished the antibiotics and they got another urine sample and tested to make sure that the infection was gone. His dr said that it had been a rare and pretty bad infection. He said that now we needed to find out what caused it. He had us schedule an ultrasound and another test that involved contrast and xrays. We had the ultrasound done a week later and the xray test done a week after that. The ultrasound looked at his kidneys and the following morning his pedi called me and told me that his right kidney is enlarged and he has a cyst with debris in it on/in his right kidney. I pretty much spent the rest of the day crying...I just knew something was wrong but kept hoping it was a fluke, but bladder infections in boys his age are very rare and usually are caused by an underlying issue. He said it could possible be reflex (which I guess is the best cause scenario) but didn't really know anything about the what would cause the cyst.  He told me I needed to make an appointment with a pediatric urologist with Los Angeles children's hospital and gave the name and number of who I needed to call.  He said to still do the xray test and I would need to take copies of those 2 tests to the specialist. The following week we had the xray and contrast test done and it wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be. The use a catheter to put the contrast liquid into his bladder and fill it and take xray images. The nurse that did it was amazing and was so good with him! And he did such a great job. His pedi called me the next day with the results and he said that it did show that he had reflex. They rate it on a scale of 5 being the most severe and his is a 1 on one side and a 3 on the other side. His pedi prescribed him preventative antibiotics until we see the specialist since reflex can cause another infection. We go to see the specialist this Wednesday. I'm anxious to see what the specialist says and what the next steps are.  He's doing great otherwise, being his normal crazy, silly, wild self. He takes the antibiotics once a day and does great with it. Doesn't seem to be in any pain or anything so that's good.

It's been a long time

It's been a long time time and I know I have a lot of catching up todo but I wanted to put this in writing right away.

Lately J had been a little whiny/fussy/needed. I figured he was teething...lots of drool, chewing on things...all the usual signs and I'm sure he is. Well today I had Mimi (my grandma) come and watch J so I could drive up to Carp to see a house that we were thinking about renting for a week next summer. I needed to be there at noon. So we went on our morning walk (with j in the stroller), he played at the park and we came home. He was a little more tired then he usually is but not too bad. At 10:30 Mimi got here and I left shortly after that. He was happy and excited to have her here. I drove up, saw the house (we rented it!) and came home. He had just woken up from his nap when I got home around 2:15 and Mimi said he was great. No fussing, no crying, played, watch a little TV and went down for his nap with no issue. He was happy but still seemed a little sleepy/snuggly. Josh picked him up and he went happily with him. I drank my spark (I'm doing/using advocare! Like I said I said I have a lot of catching up to do) while watching tv and planned on leaving at 4 to go to the gym. Well josh texted me that J had been crying at the door and saying crying momma for 30 minutes. He tried everything he could think of and J just wanted momma so he brought him home early. He was happy to see me. He snuggled with me while he watched cartoons and was happy, seemed tired. When my mom got home he didn't want her, just me, which is unusual unless he doesn't feel good. He felt a little warm and his temp was 99.4, not too bad, I figured he's teething. He finally went to nana and snuggled with her. I took him up to take a bath and as soon as I took his diaper off I saw a little blood in it where he had peed. I called my mom in and said is that blood?! She said it looked like it and to check to see if maybe he had a little cut or something after his bath and to watch it and his his diapers for more. Well he peed in the bath and it was obviously bloody so I called the after hours number right away. The on call dr called me back and said to take him to urgent care right away. So we went. They did a catheter to get a urine sample, my mom and I had to hold him down while the nurse did it and he screamed his little head off, poor baby. Luckily it only took about 30 seconds. There was very obviously blood in his urine. The urgent care dr told is that bladder infections in boys his age are extremely rare and usually have an underlying issue. They determined that he does have a bladder infection and prescribed antibiotics. The dr said to follow up with J's pediatrician and he would probably want to see us in 2 weeks once the infection had cleared to figure out the cause of the bladder infection and that he'd probably do an ultrasound to see what caused it. He said it could be an anatomic issue he was born with that cause the tubes that take urine from the kidneys to the bladder to be irritated and cause it. I really hope it's just a rare fluke that caused it. I love my little guy so so much and I really don't want him to be in pain or have an issue that causes problems for him. He woke up a little bit ago and I went on and help up and then laid him in his bed and rubbed his head until he fell back to sleep. I'm so incredible thankful for him. I love him so much it hurts. I'm scared and worried for him. I know it could be so much worse and I pray tonight for those families, those parents, whose babies and children are sick. My heart goes out to them. I hope and pray that my baby boy is ok.


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IIFYM

If It Fits Your Macros

I've heard of this "diet" before but didn't really know what it was or much about it. It's basically a way of eating and not exactly dieting. You can eat whatever you want if it fits your macros. Your macros are your macronutrients. Based on your BMR, weight, height, if your a male or female, if you want to lose weight you calculate specific things to get your calories intake and how many grams of carbs, protein and fat you are supposed to have each day. I hired a trainer I heard about on you tube and she showed me how to calculate it (in a little e book she sent after I signed up) and I calculated wrong so she sent me the right numbers...oops. I went back and saw what I did wrong. And she also has an app that I have a profile in and I go to that to get my workouts each day and track my measurements. I just started yesterday (Monday). I decided to do this because I started to sense that my body was in starvation mode from not eating enough calories and that's why I was having such a hard time losing weight and why I kept falling off the diets and having "eat everything in sight, I'm craving EVERYTHING" days. I was eating around 1000-1200 calories a day, usually closer to 1000, when I was sticking to my diet. On IIFYM I'm supposed to be eating 2100 calories! Holy cow!! That's a huge difference, pretty much double what I was eating before. But I don't just eat 2100 cals, I need to make sure I'm hitting my macros within that goal. My macros are 60 grams fat, 210 grams carbs, and 180 grams protein. That is A LOT of food. Like a massive amount of food. It's going to take some time to get used to what I need to eat and how to get to my goals. Yesterday I was under everything but today I'll be closer. I pretty much have to put it what I know I'll eat and what I want to eat and then build around that to get to the goals. Like today I was just going to have string cheese and turkey pepperoni for snack between lunch and dinner but even after I put in everything I was going to eat I was still way off so I ended up making pizzas on light whole wheat English muffins and was going to have 1/2 a muffin but then I still wasn't close enough so I added in 1 whole muffin pizza and I'm as close as I think I can get today. I'm eating every 2-3 hours and don't really have any craving and I definitely don't feel hungry at all. I'm trying to eat healthy and fairly clean while sticking to this to get the best results, like having turkey bacon and lean turkey meat and chicken. If this works I will be amazed and hooked. It's a genius concept because you can technically eat whatever you want as long as it fits your macros. So I could technically have what I would normally consider a cheat meal and then just plan the rest of my day around that to met my goals. I could have ice cream or a brownie, Starbucks, or in in out. I'd just have to balance the rest to met the goals. I'm trying not to do that, but to know that I can and its not "cheating" or failing or falling off track is huge for me mentally. I fell like it makes it easier to stick to this because I know I can have whatever I want if I want to instead of thinking of foods I love as off limits and craving them even more. I really hope this works and gives me great results! It's also a much easier program to stick to long term and adjust as needed as I lose weight. It will actually be a relief when I lose weight and can lower my goals so I'm not consumed with eating all day long. Like seriously I feel like eating is a full time job right now, but I know I'm fueling my body and hopefully it will reset my metabolism and I can start losing weight and gaining muscle!


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Today

Today we went over to my brothers to see the work they've been doing and to take a toy over to the pups. They are working on getting their house ready for an appraisal for a refi and have been painting outside and inside. And awhile ago Jackson and I got a dog toy at Kmart because it was $1 to take to the dogs. Well before we left my mom thought we needed to get another toy because they have 2 dogs. So we went to Walmart and since we were only getting 1 thing we let j walk instead of getting a cart and he was in heaven running all over the store. It's so funny, he loves running all over the store. Of course he slows people down, gets in their way and almost runs into people but it makes him so happy. It's very rare that he gets to do that and have that freedom and he loved it. He picked out a toy and it took 3x longer than it should have but it made him happy! We got to Nick and Sami's and he got to play in the backyard, which he loves! Thanks to Sami's encouragement we got him to say please "plea" and "up" he also say nick "niiii". Which is officially the first name, other then momma, nana "na", Mimi "mi", and dada! Nick went inside and we said we're did uncle nick go? Say nick! And he went to the close door and yelled "niii" and then later was looking for Nick in the house and calling "niii". And they had Sami's parents 2 pups so all 4 dogs. He loves the dogs.


He discovered that the step by the door was the perfect place to sit:





Eating a pita chip and dogs watching hoping he'd drop something:


They knocked him over:


He was a little confused about being knocked down and that cole kept taking the ball:








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Lol

I just went into the downstairs bathroom and I couldn't help but laugh when I glanced at the front door and saw this:


Jackson's keys dangling from the random hole in our front door! Everytime he comes across his keys he goes straight to the front door and tries to "unlock" it with his keys. Which is funny to me because I could count on 1 hand the number of times he's seen my lock/unlock a door in his lifetime. I park in the garage and we come I into the house that way. Usually when we walk to get the mail I don't even lock the door, only if I think I'm going to let him wander around and walk all over and it'll be awhile that we'll be away from our condo (maybe twice)! We go out that door maybe once a week, but I guess because of the hole he thinks he can unlock it?! He can't get to the door to the garage because it's blocked off by a baby gate because it's at the bottom of the stairs to go upstairs or he'd probably try to go out that door since that's the one we use 99% of he time! He's so stinkin smart!



And now I look at him on the monitor and I just want to go snuggle him. I'm seriously amazed (on a daily, sometimes hourly) basis how much love I have for this little human. He's my boy, and I'm his momma. And that is everything.

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The little things

I'm watching mindless TV (keeping up with the kardashians) and went into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine and on the way I pass the shoe on the couch, all the toys, the art on the wall and I smile. Seeing those things littering my house make me happy. They make this home. I always dreamed of and wanted a family. A husband and lots of kids. Well things didn't exactly turn out as planned, but I have an amazing little boy and I love seeing his "stuff" cluttering up the house. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm in the season of babyhood turning into toddlerhood (ok, maybe I'm already in toddlerhood but I'm holding onto evenly last bit of babyhood!). These are the little things that make me happy! These are the little moments of everyday life, and life with Jackson at 20 months old, that I want to remember.

Jackson's "art" on the wall:


A high chair at the dining room table, his bib, a little pack of Cheerios (and the printer that he LOVES to test the limits and try to touch...he got his little booty spanked tonight for touching it after repeatedly being told not to):


Little toy cars all over the place, he loves makes little car noises and of course siren sounds for the fire truck, police car and ambulance:


His cute little shoe (and Mickey blanket) on the couch. This is where my mom sits on the couch and when she's not home it's his spot, and when she is he usually wants to sit there with her:


His table, toys and books. I just got him that little fire station toy at a consignment sale and he loves it!
He also loves to pull EVERY book off the shelves and throw them all over the floor:



Some days are hard, and trying, as a single mom who also takes care of another baby along with my own. Yesterday was rough. Jackson didn't nap well and was really whiny, I had the little boy I babysit from 9am-11:30pm. Jackson fell and hit his chin on our ottoman and bit his lip. It bled and he now has a pretty bad looking bump. It scared me as a momma. I hate seeing him hurt. But I held him tight and just wanted to cry. My nerves where fried and I couldn't wait for bedtime. But in that moment I just held him and felt so bad. Felt like I wasn't a good momma. He breaks his arm a few weeks ago, bites his lip open tonight, what am I doing wrong?! I know I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm a loving, caring, momma to a toddler boy. A rough and tough toddler boy. There will be many bumps and bruises in our future, I'm sure, and I hope that I will always be there to hold and comfort my sweet baby boy. I was just having a bad day yesterday. They are rare but they happen, and I'm just lucky that as a single mom, doing this in my own, I'm able to be blessed with the patience and love I have for my son. That even on the hardest days, when I'm counting down until bedtime, I can look at my sweet boy, take a deep breath, and feel so much love and amazement towards him. Most nights (good and bad) I put him to bed and watch the monitor and feel this surge of love and desire to go and hold him. I don't of course, but some nights when he stirs and cries (like a few nights ago when he bumped his head on his headboard and cried) I love every moment of getting to hold and comfort him.

The past few times he's gone to his dad's he hasn't wanted to go. He's cried when his dad put him into his car. It breaks my heart. And then on those nights when I put him to bed he's cried for me. He's always happy to go to bed. I bathe him/change him into pjs and he wants in his bed. He cries and points to it. He gives me a kiss and hug and then is done. Just wants his bed, his binks (at least 2, one in his mouth and one or 2 extras) and his blankie. But the past few times he's gone to his dad's he doesn't want me to leave. He cries when I lay him down. He reaches out his arms to me and wants me to hold him. It breaks my heart to see him so sad but makes me feel and realize the intensity of love he had for me and that in those 3-3 1/2 hours he's with his dad he misses me and needs some extra time with me before he goes to bed. So I sit next to his bed and sing to him (poor boy! I can't sing. I just repeat a little lullaby that I used to sing when I'd rock him to sleep "rockabye and goodnight I love you sweet baby, rockabye and goodnight I love you sweet boy" and twinkle twinkle little star). I rub his head or his back and just sit there. One night he wouldn't lay down so I just sat there next to his bed with him sitting on his bed and held him, his head on my shoulder and my arms around him. Eventually be let me lay him down and rub his head. And eventually I was able to leave the room and he went to sleep. I hate that this affects him, but I know that in the long run its better this way.

Wow this turned into much more then I meant for it to be, but these are my feelings. This is my life. He is my life. My everything. And although my life isn't where I ever thought I'd be I wouldn't change anything because it gave me him.


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New game plan

I did ok on Nutrisystem but not as well as I was hoping I would. I was really motivated in the beginning and after losing 5 lbs the first week but then the weight didn't seem to be coming off and things kept coming up and I kept falling off the wagon. I've decided to change things up and since our little 4 day beach vacation is almost 13 weeks away I made a plan and I'm going to stick to it for the next 12 weeks, starting today! Last week I did one of the 21 day fix videos (total body cardio) and I only did like 15 minutes of it and I was so sore for the next few days. Like my legs hurt to sit down or stand up. It was bad and great at the same time. All the 21 day fix workouts are like 30 minutes (or less). So i am going to follow the 21 day fix workout schedule and do those videos. I'm also going to try to walk or do the couch to 5k program on the days I have the baby I babysit, on the days jackson goes to his dad's (and I don't have the baby) I'm going to go to the gym and do 45 minutes to an hour on the elliptical. For diet I am going to do nutrisystem and a low carb, healthy whole food mix (example: eggs whites and one turkey sausage patty for breakfast, premade salad or chicken and veggies for lunch and lean meat and veggies for dinner. I got chicken sausages that have mozzarella cheese and artichokes in them at Costco that are so yummy so I'll probably be having those a lot!) So I will alternate days, today I am doing nutrisystem and tomorrow I will do low carb. I'm hoping this will get me better results. If I could stick to the 21 day fix plan or having lean meat and veggies everyday I would but I get so bored with that and I end up not sticking to it so I'm hoping that the nutrisystem days will give me enough variety to stick to this. I'm determined to stick to this for the next 12 weeks so I can be thinner, happier and feel good enough about myself to be able to enjoy the beach with my baby boy. I want to be comfortable enough to put on a bathing suit and shorts and play in the sand and water with him. I want to be happy to be in pictures with him. I know I won't be bikini ready in 12 weeks. I know my journey won't be over in 12 weeks and I'll still have a long way to go to get to where I want to be, but I KNOW that if I work hard and stick to this I will get results and I will feel better about myself and more confident in 12 weeks! And then I can enjoy a long weekend of eating whatever I want and drinking yummy alcoholic drinks before I make a game plan for the next part of my journey!


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Words

Just in the past few days jackson has started saying a lot more words! There are quite a few words he can say but he mostly refuses to say them. Recently he said "duck" when I asked him if he wanted to go see the ducks (at Bridgeport when we walk), he's been able to shake his head "no" for awhile now but last Sunday when my mom was watching him he verbally said "no" to her and I've heard him say it a few times now. He randomly started saying "baby" yesterday but I don't think he means it as baby, but I have no idea what he thinks he's saying (I briefly thought maybe he thought he was saying mickey for Mickey Mouse but I'm not sure). And today he said "bubble" when we played with bubbles outside. He also said yellow yesterday. But once he realizes he has said something he won't repeat it again because he knows we want him to. He's such a stubborn little stinker. I think he also tried to say juice earlier today!


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Month 2, take 2

So I'm just going to go ahead and call April month 2. The past few weeks have been crappy and I fell off track so many times so this will be take 2 of month 2. Technically April doesn't start until Wednesday but I'm getting ahead start I guess. Starting today my goal for the month of April is to stick to nutrisystem 90% of the time and get in good workouts AT LEAST 3 days a week. I'm also going to hopefully start seeing my sis-in-law once a week for training. She's amazing and in awesome shape. Fitness, exercise and nutrition are things she's very passionate about and I'm hoping for not only awesome effective training from her and help figuring out what to do to lose weight (as far as working out goes) but also motivation and accountability. I need someone cheering me on and holding me accountable. It's not as easy to slip up when you know you'll have to confess it someone and they'll be disappointed in you.

I haven't weighed myself, I might weigh myself sometime this week or I might wait until the end of the week, I haven't decided yet.

I also bought a pre-workout drink, NLA raspberry lemonade uplift for her, to try. I've been using those water flavoring packets that have caffeine to try to get more energy for my workouts but I heard about this from someone on YouTube and decided to try it. Hopefully it'll help me have better workouts!



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NS month 2, week 1

Hoping I can do a lot better this week to make up for the last few weeks!

Day 1 :












*the pizza melt was really good! I'll definitely be ordering that again!
*the margherita pizza I had for dinner was really good too! I didn't think I was going to like it because of the tomatoes but they weren't overwhelming and I actually really liked it!

I still snacked more then I should BUT I kept it under control and kept track instead of just mindlessly eating.

Workout : I walked with Katharine this morning, about 2 miles and then in the afternoon when J was with his dad I went to the gym and did an hour on the elliptical.

Day 2 : we're just going to pretend like this day didn't even happen...it was a bad bad bad day. First day of my "lady time" (heard that from someone I watch on you tube and its to funny not to use). Two fussy babies. My baby teething with a yucky cold...ended with wine...Reese's peanut butter eggs...habit burger...pirate booty...I got ice cream too but only ate like 3 bites so I guess that's a victory for me. No workout, but J was miserable and I wasn't about to drag him out of the house and expect him to sit happily in the stroller while I walked.

Day 3 : let's do this!!!

So I pretty much failed the rest of the week. I did go to the gym on Wednesday and Friday but my eating was horrible. I'm not going to dwell on it and just move forward from here.


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Nutrisystem Month 1

I finished my first 4 weeks on NS and I'm pretty happy with the results considering that the past 2 weeks have been pretty bad. I completely fell of the wagon and ate crap. I didn't work out as much as I wanted to and wasn't as active as I had planned on being. I drank more wine then I should of in the past 2 weeks and ate cookies and candy and indulged in foods that I know I shouldn't have. I was convinced that I gained back the 5-6 pounds I lost in the first 2 weeks plus some so I've been avoiding the scale for 2 weeks. So I was happily surprised when I stepped on the scale this morning and I had only gained back 1.2 pounds! I'm 225.6! I'm not happy with that in one sense because it was my first month in the diet and I know I could have done much better and be closer then this to my goal, BUT with everything that happened this month I need to look at the bigger picture and a loss is a loss and it's time to move on to month 2 and do better, try harder.

So here's to a good loss in month 2! My goal for this week is to lose 5 pounds. I really think that after the past 2 weeks of I focus, stay on track, and get in a lot of activity I can do that! I would love to get below the 220's and if that happens this week great, if not hopefully be the end of next week I can be under 220!


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First sentence!

Over the past few weeks/months jackson has gotten really good at communicating. It's like something clicked and he realized he could communicate with us! He started using signs more often and shaking his head no. He also started taking my hand (or anyone's really) to show us what he wants. Like he'd take my hand and pull me to the door if he wants to go outside, or even when he's eating and needs help getting food into his fork he'll take my hand and put it on his fork. He's been good at responding with a sign for awhile like if I ask him if he's hungry he does the sign for eat, but just recently he started using he signs with out being prompted. Like the other day his dad dropped him off and as soon as I walked into the house holding him he looked at the kitchen then at me and did the sign for eat. I asked him if he was hungry and he nodded yes, which is also a new thing! He can answer yes or no by nodding or shaking his head! When I ask him a question I'm encouraging him tell me yes or no instead of just whining. Like I'll say "do you want gummies?" And he will usually start to whine so I look at him and say "jackson, say yes please momma" and he will nod his head. Right now I'm focusing on getting him to respond yes or no and later we'll work on adding please. Although he often will say please along with the nod because he's known the sign for please longer then nodding yes.

He still doesn't talk a whole lot, he babbles and says a few words consistently. He knows quite a few animal sounds and there are words he can say but doesn't say regularly. He now says momma all the time. And his current favorite word is go. He can say ball, blue, choo choo, moo, baa, growl like a bear, quack like a duck, sometimes he'll meow and bark. It's like if he knows I want him to say something he won't. This morning he said his first sentence!!! He said "go choo choo" that counts right!? He's learning to put words together and that's the next language milestone I think!


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Big Boy Bed

After Jackson's fall out of his crib I decided to get him a toddler bed. I knew it wasn't likely that he'd try, or even he able to, climb out with the cast and I made sure to watch him carefully on the monitor for 2 nights to get to Saturday and then we went out shopping for a big boy bed! We looked at ikea and I didn't like any of the beds. There were some cute ones but not exactly what I was looking for. I wanted it to fit his crib mattress so I didn't have to get a new mattress and I wanted it to have little rails on the side. We ended up finding one at Target. We came home and he napped in his crib for the last time and after his nap I put his bed together! Here he is checking it out for the first time:
He climbed right up and knew what to do!



Laid down and snuggled right in, he was tired and kinda out of it and had a little fever so I know he want felling well:


Which is probably why he just wanted to lay there:


He went down ok and got out of bed walked over to the nightstand and got the extra (3rd since he already sleeps with 2!) bink and got right back into bed and layed down. He got in and out of bed like 5 more times in a row. Just got up, walked across the room and got back into bed. He fell asleep and then woke up and kinda fell out of bed so I went up and put him back into his bed and made sure he had his binks and he laid there awake for over an hour. I was trying to wait until he was asleep to go up there to take out my contacts and wash my face but my eyes hurt so I went up and say by him for a few minutes and rubbed his head. I thought he was going to go to sleep so I went and into the bathroom and did what I needed to and he was still awake. I sat by his bed a little longer and rubbed his head and back. I finally left the room and went back downstairs. He stayed awake awhile longer before finally falling asleep. He woke up a few times during the night and got out of bed and I just went and helped him lay back down and he'd go right back to sleep. He slept until about 7 (he's been sleeping until 8 recently).
First night in his bed:






When he woke up in the morning he was really upset. I think he was confused about not being in his crib and he started crying. I brought him into my bed and let him watch cartoons and snuggle with me!





The next night was better, he went to bed pretty easily but still got up a few times and woke up a few times throughout the night. He woke up at one point pretty early in the night and he sat up and was crying so I went in there and he tried to lay him back down and he sat up and was sort of reaching for the gray blanket that's on him. It was rolled up and against the wall in case he rolled into the wall he couldn't grab it because it was on the side of his cast so I said "do you want your gray blankie?" And he nodded and I told him ok you can have it, lay down. He laid down and I put the blanket on him and he fell right back to sleep. He's so silly! He still had it on him when I went to bed so I snapped a quick pic!


The next morning he woke up at 6am! So I went and told him it's still night night time and he needed to lay back down and go to sleep. He did and slept until 7 and then got up and went to the gate and started crying for me.

Last night he was so tired! He pretty much closed his eyes as soon as he laid his head down. A little while later I looked at the monitor and he was moving around and the bottom half of his body fell out of the bed, he was so tired that instead of climbing back into bed he fell right back to sleep like that!



I put him back into bed and he didn't even wake up!



He woke up a few times, but each night it's less, and slept until 8am! Yay!

He hasn't been napping very well tho. He's napping for maybe an hour at the most. I would really love for him to nap for 2-3 hours but usually it's only 1 1/2-2, but since he's been in his bed it's about an hour. Hopefully he'll start napping a little longer as time goes on!

Each night it gets better and it's gone so much better then I was expecting! He's becoming such a big boy! I love it and hate it at the same time!

Nutrisystem day 5

Today for breakfast I had a blueberry muffin. I don't really like blueberries but it was good. All the muffins I've had so far haven't been dry, they've been good! I had my energizing shake for morning snack, veggies and a chocolate peanut butter bar for lunch which was really good, tasted more like dessert then lunch so no complaints there! For dinner I had

This morning J had his kid co class so I didn't walk this morning and I didn't do a workout video either but after my ex picked J up I put the baby (I'll have to figure out something to call him, his name also starts with a J so I can't call him that!) into the stroller and walked around our buildings twice and got the mail. It was just a short 15 minute walk, but better then nothing. Our area isn't really a great place to walk or I would have gotten in a better walk. Goal (one of them) for when we move (our lease is up in September and we want to try to find a small 3 bedroom house to rent) is to be in a better neighborhood where we can just walk out the front door and go on a good walk! A park within walking distance would be a major bonus too!

Usually J goes to his dad's Tuesday and Thursday afternoon, which are also the days I babysit, when we first separated we did it that way because I was also watching another families kids weekday afternoon from 2-6 (but usually later) and it was easier for him to be with his dad those days. Now that I don't watch them and he's older and actually plays and enjoys the other boy I watch I started thinking it would be better to have him go to his dad's on Mondays and Wednesday's because then 1. The boys can play together and we can go to the park and stuff like that in the afternoons and 2. I get some me time! I talked to my x about it today and he said that was fine and agrees it's better for the boys to be able to play together. So now I'll be able to go to the gym on those days (unless I end up having the baby I watch, which happens occasionally). Right now every other Saturday is really the only time I'm childless since the rest of the time I have my son, the baby I watch, or both! So it'll be so nice to have 2 afternoons a week to myself, I know I'll miss my son, but I will enjoy that time and I know I need it!


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NS week 4

Week 4 on Nutrisystem or what I'm referring to as week 3 redo since last week was a total bust. I didn't even weigh myself today because honestly I'm terrified of seeing the number on the scale. I'm sure I gained back some of the weight I lost so far so I feel better with the idea of working REALLY hard this week and seeing the number at the end of this week. This week I'm going to just post pics from my fitness pal for what I ate and I'll add * for new things or comments I have about the food!

Day 1:



Yes please!!!!! -






*the turkey sausage and egg breakfast muffin was REALLY good! Already glad I upgraded to the next plan up the includes frozen foods! So yummy!

*the Chicken Enchilada Dinner was also really good! Very filling and satisfying!

Day 2 :









*I don't like the sugar and fat free creamer, it just has a weird taste so I'm trying to mix a tablespoon of the creamer I like with some of the that one. Maybe I can get down to 1 tablespoon of each or something. I liked the mixes you put into water that have caffeine but I really love my coffee and was missing it!
*the frozen pancakes were good! I used reduced calorie syrup and a teeny tiny bit of butter.
*the frozen burger was good! I think I cooked it a little to long because the bun got a little hard. I only used 1/4 slice of cheese and a little mustard and I even measured out my ketchup because I love ketchup and know I use more then I think I do!

I completely gave in at the end of the day had wine and snacks. Bad bad bad. But tomorrow is another day.

Day 3:





*the pizza was really good! It was a frozen one!

Workout : I went to the gym in the morning since J's dad is taking him tomorrow afternoon instead of today because he had a work meeting. It's easier to take J in the morning because our mornings are more predictable then our afternoons. He did ok in the childcare. He was fine when I dropped him off but a few minutes later he realized I was gone and freaked out. He cried and tried to get out the door whenever someone went in or out and wouldn't let the girls hold him (they have a camera in there and I can watch on the elliptical so I just kept it on that channel and watched sons of anarchy on my phone). He didn't cry for long but then he found another door (to a bathroom) and kept trying to get out. Then just stood there for awhile watching the other kids. My sis in law was teaching a class so when she was done she went in and he let her hold him and she showed him some toys and then after she left he started warming up and playing. That was like 30 minutes into my workout. I did an hour on the elliptical and when I went and got him he was happy and playing. I'm taking him again Friday morning so hopefully he'll do well!

I really need to stop eating junk. The more candy and junk food I eat the more I crave it and give in. I just need to stop!

Day 4:







*the frozen cinnamon bun was so good! Bigger and better then the non frozen ones!
*the steak and cheese melt was pretty good. Not amazing to me because it wasn't something I would normally try but it was pretty good!

Those damn honey mustard pretzels! I'm throwing them away tonight so I don't give in and eat them at the end of the day when I'm watching tv!

Workout : we went for a walk this morning and I walked for a little over an hour and almost 4 miles (3.94). It was longer then I had intended but we walked somewhere new and I might have sorta gotten lost.

Day 5:

*the frozen waffles were really good! I'm not a big breakfast person and much prefer lunch and dinner foods (I can vividly remember eating spaghetti for breakfast when I was pregnant and it was so good). Anyways...I don't think I've eaten waffles for breakfast. I give j a waffle for breakfast sometimes but it's never something that sounded appealing to me for breakfast but I would totally eat these often! I got them just to try them and actually took them off my next order (before trying them) thinking I'd rather have the breakfast sandwiches, but now I think I'll add some back on! They are that good!

I started day 5 off well but by the end of the night I fell off track again. I had some wine which let to snacking. And the rest of the week I was pretty bad. Although Friday night I almost got something unhealthy to eat on the way home from my nieces talent show at her school, but instead I came home and ate a NS dinner, but after that I gave in and had some wine and that lead to snacking....I wasn't completely horrible but I didn't eat well and I didn't workout, although I did get like 47 active minutes yesterday from cleaning the houses. I really need to get back on track and stay in track. Nothing's going to change if I keep doing the same thing. I didn't weigh myself this morning. But it's time to face reality and see if I gained back the weight I lost in the first few weeks (I'm sure I have gained it back :( ) and move on from there. It's a new month and I really need to stay focused and stay on track. Only 16 weeks until our little beach vacation and I want to enjoy it and not be worried about how fat I am and feel horrible about myself. I know 16 weeks isn't long enough to get to where I want to be, but if I work hard I think I could make a big difference in the way I look and feel by then I just need to put in the hard work!

NS Week 3

I'm going to just put what I ate each day unless it's something new then I'll comment on if it was good or not.

Day 1: breakfast - Sweetened O's cereal. This time I just ate it dry and didn't add milk. Not very good, won't order it again. I had a pomegranate lemonade energy packet in water with breakfast. AM snack - energizing shake. Lunch - veggies and chicken Parmesan pasta. PM snack - none, I forgot to have it. Dinner - asparagus and ravioli with basil tomato sauce. I didn't think it was very good, not bad, but I didn't really like it and wouldn't order it again. BUT I am not a very big ravioli fan so I wasn't really surprised. For dessert I had the oatmeal chocolate chunk cookie, it was pretty good!


Workout : walked at Bridgeport, 1.73 miles about 30 minutes.

Day 2 : Breakfast - honey wheat bagel with lite cream cheese and energy drink mix packet mixed with water. Lunch - half Caesar salad at Panera with sierra mist to drink (I had planned on getting water but I got a soda instead, lots of ice, no refill. It was good but still a total waste of calories! But I guess since I skipped my AM snack it kinda made up for those calories). I'm proud of myself though for making a good and healthy choice going out to lunch! Usually I would have gotten the u pick 2 and gotten 1/2 turkey panini sandwich and broccoli cheese soup with bread as the side. I got an apple as my side and let J eat it. It was a small portion but good and filling enough for me! Yay! PM snack - on the way to the gym I had my energizing shake. Dinner - asparagus and lasagna with meat sauce. I put a little shredded Parmesan cheese on top and it was pretty good!


For dessert I had the toffee crunch cookies and they were really good!

Workout : gym - I did 1 hour (+5 min cool down) on the elliptical, 4.94 miles! Then I did 2 arm weight machines. It was a good workout!

This was today's fitness pal prediction when I finished my log:


Day 3 :
Breakfast - double chocolate chip muffin, yummy! Then I had my energizing shake on the way to Bridgeport to walk.
Lunch - I had the Kung pao noodles and I added 1 cup of bell peppers and onions (I bought the bag of froze. grilled peppers and onions from trader joes and juts heated them up in a skillet then added them to the noodles after I cooked them)! It was good! Not my favorite but really good and better with the peppers and onions!


I had my craving crusher shake for PM snack. For dinner I had veggies with the bbq seasoned chicken. It's bbq shredded chicken and I put it on a sandwich thin with a tiny bit of shredded cheese and a little ketchup. It was really good! I'll definitely make that a regular! For dessert I had the popcorn. It was good but I like the white cheddar popcorn better!

Workout - I walked bridgeport twice with both boys in the stroller with katharine. It was 3.35 miles in an hour and 3 minutes.

Today's my fitness pal prediction:
Day 4:
I weighed myself this morning and I've lost a pound! I weighed 224.4 this morning! So hoping for another pound or 2 (or 3 :)) by Sunday! I'm motivated to see that it's going in the right direction! I really think being more active this week is helping!
Breakfast - I had the sweetened O's, I just ate them dry without milk. I changed things up and had the craving crusher shake this morning and I'll have the energizing shake on my way to the gym!
Lunch - I had the loaded baked potato with veggies.
Dinner - the thick crust pizza with veggies.
I was really bad and had a really weak moment. I went to Walmart after I went to the gym to get a few things and I saw the display of the 6 pack packages of the Reece's eggs, which I LOVE. I don't know what it is about them but they are so good! Better then regular peanut butter cups. Anyways I saw them when I walked in and thought mmmmm but kept on walking well after searching all over for lemon juice and not being able to find I finally found it and I was kinda annoyed and in a hurry and hungry and I passed another display and tossed a package into the cart...and ate 3 of them on the way home. So bad, but so good. And it didn't completely ruin things because I had a lot of activity today, but I'm still disappointed in myself. But I didn't let it ruin my day. I came home ate my dinner and moved on. Normally I would completely fall of track and think "well I already ruined it for today so I'm going to have some wine and something good for dinner! I'll be back on it tomorrow". And then tomorrow would end up being "I'll start again Monday and just enjoy the rest of the week".
Dessert -

Workout : I walked 3.2 miles in just under an hour at bridgeport with J in the stroller this morning and I went to the gym and did 45 minutes on the elliptical.

The rest of the week:
On Thursday morning (day 5) J tried to climb out of his crib and fell and broke his arm. You can read the "broken arm" post to read all the details but it totally derailed my eating. I didn't do to bad on Thursday, I ate some candy and missed lunch. I drank wine. It was bad but not too horrible. Well friday was bad. I got sushi for lunch and ate most of a frozen pizza for dinner, along with more wine. Today was better until dinner when my mom decided to go get habit burger and I gave in and her get me a burger and sweet potato fries. It was so yummy but so bad. Tomorrow we are going to lunch for my aunts birthday and I'm going to try to be good and get a salad. Then monday I am back on track and focusing on my eating AND being active everyday. I'm going to try to walk every morning and go to the gym when J is with his dad. I'm not going to weigh myself tomorrow and I'm going to try not to weigh myself until the end of this next week.