A baby gift

A friend at work is about 5 months pregnant and she's having a girl! They are moving like an hour away for about a month or so until their house that's being built is done, she is still going to teach art classes on Fridays at our store, but she'll no longer work there (she uses the classroom there to hold her classes). So on thursday we got her a cake and brought her gifts. A few of us are hoping to have a real baby shower for her later, but this was just a goodbye/baby shower. I LOVE making baby girl stuff! I had her show me fabric she likes at work, I told her I wanted to make her something, but didn't tell her what I was making. I made a bib and matching burp cloth:




And a tutu:




It felt good to be back in my sewing room! Even though it's a mess in there! I can't seem to keep that room clean. It just accumulates stuff.

I have some things I want to make with my silhouette now that I can actually use it (the pup chewed up the cord for my laptop charger so I haven't been able to use it, but I ordered a new charger and just got it!) hopefully I'll be able to finish a few things on Sunday!

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Getting stuff done...finally!

I have a to-do list a mile long right now. There's stuff I need to do and stuff I want to do. Stuff I've been putting off for awhile. Ok let's be honest, stuff I've been putting off since we moved in...almost a year ago. My best friend is coming to visit (for the first time) this next weekend and I want our house to look good. To look the way I want it to look. When we first moved here we had just gotten married and I bought a set of frames and picked out my fav wedding pics and I hung the framed pics in our apartment. Well that box has been sitting in our garage since we moved in. So today I FINALLY hung the pics. I also hung some shelves along with them.
I still want to make some vinyl words or something to go in the spaces below the two larger pics. Every time I walk by it I can't help but smile! It's so great to see the pics hanging on the wall and I'm so glad I finally got it crossed off my to-do list.



Another thing on the list was the garage. There's still a bunch of stuff in there (boxes of mine, boxes of the hubby's, a bunch of tools that belonged to hubby's grandpa, baby stuff that my sister gave me when we moved, our old couch we need to get ride of) and we just pushed everything far enough to one side so I could park my car in there. So last night went through all the boxes and put mine in one stack and hubby's in another stack, I finally set up our metal shelves and put some of the tools and other stuff on it. It still needs a lot of work, but it's already much better!
The metal shelves I put together on the left and then storage cabinet for my crafty stuff (spray paint and stuff for other projects that need to be done in the garage). The boxes on the right are for hubby's work :



Another project high on my to-do list is getting our basement guest room put together. I finally hung the curtains my mom brought here in December. I put a bookcase in there and I bought a lamp. I want to make some pictures for the room (I have an awesome idea using canvas, vinyl and spray paint). I also need to get the bathroom put together to. I have a cabinet in there and a mirror with hooks that matches that needs to be hung. I'm making a towel rack/hooks and I want to add pictures. I haven't been able to find any art/pictures that I love for in there so I'm thinking about maybe printing out some of my own pictures. I love taking pictures and while I'm no professional I do have some great pics from our honeymoon in Hawaii (ocean and sunset pics) and some pics I've taken of flowers. So I might do a beach theme. Once I get those rooms done I will post pics!

Our carpet is another issue. We adopted our pup, Brody, last July. He was around 9 months old when we got him and he's had house training issues. We'd let him out and he'd come right back in and poop or pee on the floor. He just couldn't seem to get it. We started crating him at night and doing our best to put him out often but it was still happening. We got a doggie door this past weekend and he seems to be doing better, but our carpets are horrible. I wanted to rent a carpet cleaner and clean the carpets before this weekend and after looking at the price to rent one versus buying one it made more sense to buy one since its something we'll get a lot of use out of. I texted hubs with this idea and he called me saying to hold off but after some convincing he said to go ahead and buy it! How lame am I to be excited about cleaning my carpets with my very own cleaner/steamer!

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Gettin fit Friday!

Weigh in #2. This past week (really 2 weeks) I didn't work out at all and I ate pretty bad. Since my last weigh in on 4/13 I had a gain of 0.6. Not even a pound! I think that's pretty dang good for spending most of the past week resting and doing nothing because of my back. I had made a list of the weigh in dates and the goals for those dates with a space to write the actual weight and difference from the previous weeks weight. It goes from 4/9 to July 13th. I re wrote the list this morning to take out last weeks weigh in and readjust based on that. My extreme goal is to get down to 180 by our anniversary on July 16th. I know that is am extreme goal and it may not be realistic but I am going to try my best to reach that goal. And even with everything that happened this past week and very small gain I'm still on track goal wise!

4/9 Starting weight: 232
4/13 weigh in #1 : 223.8 (goal was 228)
4/27 weigh in #2 : 224.4 (goal was 224)

Goal for weigh in #3 is 220!

And my goals as far as exercise and diet goes:
*Exercise: re-start c25k on week 1, take Brody for a walk on the nights I don't do c25k. I also want to add some weight lifting for my arms.
*Diet: fruit smoothies for breakfast, lean cuisines and smart ones for lunches and dinners. Potion sizes are one of my biggest challenges, even if I cook a healthy dinner I end up eating way more then I should and that makes it a not so healthy meal because I eat twice as much as I should. So even though frozen diet meals may not be the best thing to eat it's what works for me and I need to do what works and what's easiest so that I will continue seeing results. On the weekends I'll probably cook meals for us so I will try to make them healthy and watch my portion sizes.



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Feeling better

My back is feeling SO much better! It's still sore and I am being extremely careful with everything I do. The PT yesterday helped a lot and I have another appointment tomorrow. I'm hoping by Monday I can start c25k again! I didn't weigh myself last Friday for week 2 and haven't weighed myself at all since early last week so I'm a little scared to step on the scale. I haven't worked out and I haven't exactly been following my diet. So I'm just going to call tomorrow my week 2 weigh in and go from there. I can't help that I hurt my back and was unable to work out. I'm not going to make excuses. It is what it is and I'll just go forward from here. Im sure I'll have to work hard next week to follow my diet and workout to make up for this past week, but I know I can do it.

On another note, I'm glad we're on a TTCing "break". Although we're not preventing anything, I'm trying to focus on myself. On eating healthy, working out, getting back into shape, getting back to being happy with myself. I was planning on charting my temp but I haven't even done that this month. I feel like this is a much needed break. I really need to be in better shape and happier with myself before I get pregnant. And good thing because my hubby has been gone this week and if we'd been trying we'd have missed ovulation with him being gone and I'm sure I'd have been freaking out. But instead I'm ok with it. I still have a lot of work to do on myself and I want to give myself until mid July (our anniversary) to focus on myself before we start actively TTCing again. Because when we are it becomes the focus in my life, the only thing I can concentrate on, so I hope by making eating healthy and working out habits I will be more likely to continue them and not not TTCing take over my life like it did previously. Although I'd be lying I said I didn't think about it just happening during this "break". Like if one day I woke up and thought "hmm, i wonder when my period is supposed to come?" and I check my handy dandy app and I realize I'm a day or 2 late so I take a test and sure enough I'm pregnant. Yeah, that would be awesome, but I know it's just a day dream. It would be nice though!


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Seriously?!

So I hurt my back at work this week. It was sore after work on Tuesday and sore throughout the day and after work on wednesday and then Friday morning I lifted something at work and felt shooting pain in my back. It hurt so bad! It even hurt to breath. I took ibrofen and tried to work through the pain because my manger has a stupid policy in regards to using our PPTO (person paid time off, not vacation time) and I knew if I left early he would t let me use it. But by close to 1pm I was in so much pain I was in tears. It was horrible. So I came home and hubby took me to urgent care where they told me I have a lumbar strain. They told me to take the next day (Friday) of work, not to lift anything over 20 pounds for a week and gave me a prescription for an anti inflammatory and a muscle relaxer. Well Friday work tells me I have to go see a different doctor. So I went and this doctor wants me to do 2 physical therapy sessions next week, I can't lift anything over 10 pounds, I can't bend at the waist more then 3 times an hour and I have to limit lower back use all until I see him for a follow up in a week. I thought it was pretty funny that the dr they send me to fells the injury is worse then the first dr thought and put more restrictions on my and wants me to do physical therapy. Oh well. As long as it feels better. It is feeling a lot better today. It just sucks that this happens right after I started working out and dieting and losing weight. It's just like seriously?! Things were going so good and then this has to happen and I can't work out. Oh well. Hopefully I'll feel good enough to at least walk a few times next week an then restart c25k the week after hopefully.

I do have some good news though. My in-laws have been offering us a car for awhile now since they have an extra vehicle and we finally took them up on the offer so we can get ride of my car payment. Well we went to Carmax today to see what they'll give is for my car and it's $2000 more then I thought we'd get! So I'm happy about that. It leaves us short $1000 from what I owe. So on Monday were taking it to Carmax to sell it to them and we'll pay the additional $1000 to them that we owe. I'll drive hubby's car for the rest of the (he'll be out of town) an he'll drive home with my new (old) car. Its a jeep and it's about 10 years old but it's in excellent condition and totally worth getting ride of a $350 a month car payment for!


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Confession

I'm going to make a confession that I'm super embarrassed to even make right now. So I have to wear tan/khaki colored pants to work. The style of pants doesn't really matter. Some people where jean like pants, some cargo style, some actual khakis. I found that the khakis at taget fit me the best and I wear those. Well in between the legs in the thigh area gets worn down really quickly (not just on me. All of us at work talk about having that issue!). So I need new pants pretty often, every few months or so, but I keep hoping I'll lose weight so I refuse to buy more then 1 pair at a time. I've boughten a few more relaxed/casual style pants pretty cheap at target or Walmart in the size I thought I was only to home and try them on and find that they are too small. So they are sitting in a drawer waiting until I can fit into them. So I gave in and bought some at target again. I bought the same size and what I thought was the same style I already had and when I put them on they were too tight. I could button them, but it hurt! Like unbearably. And my other pants were done for and there was no way I could wear them. So here's my confession...I have been wearing these pants, for like 2 months, without being able to button them. I did the hair tie trick to keep them up and on. But omg I've been wearing pants I'm to fat to button for months! Well I'm confessing this because as of yesterday I can button them! They're still tight but not painfully so! I'm hoping in another week they will be lose! I'm sure it'll be awhile before the smaller pairs I have will fit but I love feeling a difference in the way my clothes fit!


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Struggling

I've been doing so well on my new plan. I lost 11 pounds in 1 week. I know a lot of it was water weight, but it was a great start! I've been hoping that these first 30 pounds come off just like I gained them, quickly and unnoticed. By unnoticed I mean without struggling to lose them. I was/still am hoping that by just changing my eating and working out a few days a week I can get them off easily. After the first 30 pounds or so I'm guessing I'll have to step things and work a little harder as I try to lose more weight. The more weight you have to lose the easier it comes off in the beginning. At least that's the way I feel about it. I'm noticing that I've lost a few pounds. My clothes fit a little better and I think my tummy looks a little better. I'm feeling a little less fat, even though I know I still have a long way to go.

I was so motivated and all "let's do this! Workout in the rain? Hells ya!" But this week I haven't workout yet. Sunday was a lazy day, but I needed it after being in CA last weekend and then working all week. I didn't really have a break, a chance to relax until Sunday. Monday (yesterday) was hard like Monday's can be. I didn't sleep very well Sunday night and Monday is my earliest work day so I struggles to get up. I just wasn't feeling it. I ate well though. I had my usual smoothie for breakfast (1% milk, a few spoonfuls of vanilla light and fit yogurt and frozen fruit) and I had a lean cuisine for lunch. Before I went to work hubby told me he had to go to Wyoming for work, he'd leave later that day and be home the next night. After work I went to the grocery store for a few things and was trying to think of what to have for dinner since he'd be leaving shortly after I got home. I caved. Wandering the store I saw the parmesan spinach artichoke dip I love and got some pita bread to dip in it. Diet fall. It would be one thing if I had a little and that was it. But I had no willpower. I finished off that little container of dip with 3 pitas. Horrible! I kept telling myself "well now I absolutely have to work out!" But the hubby left and I'm crazy. I starting having these thoughts "what if something happens, I get hit by a car, I get kidnapped, the dog gets hit by a car? Hubs is gone, what would I do, who would I call?" yep I'm crazy. Then "what if someone breaks into our house while I'm gone? What if I get back and they kill me?" Wow, seriously. I know totally irrational. But the hubs is in another state and I'm alone here. I have to family or close friends here. They're all in another state. So I decided to take advantage of the alone time and I climbed into bed early to catch up on my DVR'd shows.

I know it was bad. I know I should have worked out. But yesterday is over and done with, so onto today. Back to focusing on my diet and working out. So tonight after work I HAVE to workout. And of course it's raining today. Just my luck. But oh well. I need to do c25k today (Tuesday), Wednesday, Friday and saturday to catch up for this week. Then I'll be able to start week 3 of c25k off right and not worry about playing catchup. I'll just need to workout on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. 3 days seems so doable but 4 seems like a challenge and I struggle to figure out when I'm going to fit in the workouts without overwhelming myself.


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Foodgasm

So on thursday The hubs and I talked about what we wanted for dinner this weekend. On Friday he was going to take the pup, Brody, to the pet store to get groomed then go to the store and I would pick up Brody when I got off work at 4. We decided on carne asada for Friday night (since we already had everything we needed except the meat) and "steaks" on Sunday. I worked late (till 9) on Saturday so I ate at work. So hubs has been on this kick of making hibachi style steak and fried rice at home. It's good and all, but when he said "steaks" my mouth was watering as I thought about medium rare steak dipped in A-1. Mmmm. Well apparently he meant the hibachi style while I was thinking grilled yummyness. The carne asada was super yummy. And I only had 1, where normally I'd have 2 carne asada tacos!

Then today came and we were watching tv on bed this morning as I drank my coffee. We are in the process of trying to get rid of my car and the in laws are giving us a car. They have 3 paid off cars (after inheriting one from hubbys grandpa who passed away) in great condition and have been offering is one for awhile. Which we've been declining for awhile. Until we woke up and decided to start acting like adults. We thought hey! If we get rid of my car and it's $350 a month car payment we can save money and pay off some other bills in hopes that I can stay home when we have a baby! Instead of waiting until I got pregnant to start figuring out if/how I'll be able to stay home. We're being grow ups and getting prepared! Anyways...we wanted to get my car detailed and then go to Carmax to get a quote. See how much they'd buy my car for. Well he had said he'd take my car to get detailed, but he didn't. Then he was saying he'd be too busy this week to take it. So we decided "let's just do both today, detailing and Carmax" so I hopped into the shower and was almost done with my makeup when he came in and decided that we should wait until later in the week because when Carmax gives us a quote it's only good for 7 days (he thought it was 30 days but I guess he checked it out while I was in the shower). With the busy week he'll have this week he won't be able to get to CA to get said "new"car and get back and get my car to Carmax for them to buy it in said 7 days. So...he offers to take me to lunch since I'm already getting ready. Ahhh! He knows I'm trying to diet. He says "well everywhere had stuff that's healthy you can get" he just doesn't get it. I was upset. He was all "I'm just trying to be nice and take you out" finally I just told him "yes. They have healthy food, but I wont make healthy choices. I'll want something good and yummy and this is why I'm fat!" I think it finally clicked and he understood. So he said "ok. Let's see what we have to make" and I had a lean cuisine steamed meal thing that was good! And he had a frozen Tgifridays meal. Win-win.

Anyways back to my point. I wanted steak with a-1 and he wanted hibachi style. He was mad at me and being kinda mean to me. So I found a recipe on Pinerest for making steak on a stove/oven and I told his he can make his own food and I'm not going to help him because he's being a jerk. So I made my steak and made zucchini to go with it. And OMG it was sooo amazingly good! I never knew I could make such good steak! And the zucchini! Yum!

So my eating could have been a lot worse this weekend and it probably could've been better (the butter on the steak comes to mind) and I am currently drinking wine, but I'm happy with my eating this weekend. I never did get in my last week 1 run so it looks like I'll be running 4 times this week. Week 1 day 3 and then the 3 runs for week 2. But since last week was such a short week I'm not stressing about it!


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Week #1

Weigh-in #1!!!
I wasn't sure if I wanted to post my weight. But I decided to suck it up and just do it. I figure it'll keep me accountable and help motivate me to get the weight off.
So Monday I had a doctors appointment and my weight was 232. OMG! I was shocked by that number. And disappointed in myself. The last time I weighed myself I weighed 198. I knew I had put on a few pounds, my clothes that fit at that weight are either tight or don't even fit, but 34 pounds?! Wow. I know it was probably a few pounds above what I really weigh since it was after lunch and I had already had a lot of water to drink, but still. I gained over 30 pounds in under 9 months. No wonder my clothes don't fit. No wonder I feel so gross. Yuck.

So I'm going with 232 as my starting weight. Today I weighed 223.8!!! Which means a loss of 8.2 pounds! I'm sure a lot of it was water weight and I know I won't lose this much every week, but I am VERY happy with this weeks loss! Especially since it was a short week. I started my diet and working out on Tuesday and weighed in on Friday.

My main goal right now is to work my butt off from now until our 2 year wedding anniversary on July 17. I'm going to really focus on my diet, eating healthy foods and portion control. I'm going to keep up with the couch 2 5k program and add in strength training and core exercises on the days I don't do c25k. I want to lose as much as I possibly can between now and then and after that I will continue with my healthy eating and working out but my main focus will go back to TTCing! I'm hoping that losing some weight and being healthier will help in that department. Right now I feel so gross about myself that being intimate with my husband is hard for me. I have no confidence and all I think about is how gross I look and I don't want him to see me and how fat I am. I want to feel good about myself again. I want to feel sexy again. It will help our sex life, which in turn will help with TTCing!

I'm hoping for a loss of 4 pound for week 2!

Guilt and good stuff

I didn't work out today, I planned on it being an off day, as in a day to NOT work out. Thursday's are always a pretty active day at work and after doing c25k 2 days in a row I figured it would be a much needed off day. And I was right. My muscles are sore. The good kind of sore. Not so bad that they hurt, but definitely sore. But I still feel guilty that I didn't work out. I kept looking out the window seeing that it was still light out and itching to get out there. But it's about 30 degrees and rainy/snowy out. Looks bright, but it's freezing! But I like this feeling. Of really wanting to workout. I've noticed an increase in my energy level already. It seems easier to wake up and get going in the morning.

Things are going good!

I ate healthy. All week. Luckily no one brought doughnuts to work this morning so I didn't have to restrain myself from having one! Hubby texted me while I was still at work "in n out or panda?" (referring to dinner) double cheese burger with animal fries sounded good, half chow mien/half fried rice with orange chicken and Beijing beef with a side of cream cheese rangoons sounded good. The thought of both places sounded disgusting though when I thought of it in terms of healthy eating, losing weight. "This is why I'm fat!" I told myself. My reply to his text was "McDonald's or Wendy's" because I knew that both of those places have salads on their menus that I would like. So I went to Wendy's. I got him his double bacon cheeseburger and large fries. I had an apple pecan chicken salad and it was SO good! I ate 1 of his french fries. Seriously. Only 1. And i didn't feel the slightest bit deprived as i ate my salad and drank my water. I'm surprised at myself.

Tomorrow is Friday. Weigh in day. I'm excited and nervous about it. I also want to set some goals for my weight loss.


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No excuses!

Tonight i got out of work early like I was hoping, walked out the door at 8:20, and I was 40 degrees and raining. Great. I talked myself up all the way home. It's just 30 minutes. I can totally do this. It'll feel so good. When I got home it was barley sprinkling. I didn't even sit down, I changed into yoga pants, a sweatshirt, put my hair up and threw on a hat. And I was out the door! I almost didn't take the pup, but I ended up taking him and he did so good! And I did good. Dare I say it felt easier then yesterday?! But it did. It felt good. We ended our cool down a few minutes easy just cause it was staring to rain harder and get colder and the poor pup keep trying to go onto other peoples porches because he was ready to go home. In the past I wouldn't have even hesitated to use the rain as an excuse not to work out. But no more. I did it and I feel proud of myself!

I only need one more c25k workout for the week! I'm 2/3 done with week 1! Yay!


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The morning after

Last night was my first "real" workout in a long time. Week 1, day 1 of c25k! It felt good and today I woke up feeling good! My legs are a little sore, but I thought I'd be much more sore. I feel great though. I feel like I have more energy already! I'm so excited and motivated. I'm committing 30 minutes a day to myself, for myself, for my health. Once I'm farther into the c25k and it becomes more of a habit I plan on adding more to my workout routine. I want to add some strength training to tone up my arms and crunches and ab exercises to tone my core. But for now I'm making a commitment of 30 minutes a day to do c25k, and on the days I don't do c25k to just take a 30 minute walk. The pup loved the workout last night, he was exhausted when we got home. So it's great for him too!

I dug out our scale today. It was buried under some stuff in the garage. To make sure I have it and it works for Fridays weigh in! I weighed myself for the heck of it even though I was already on my second cup of coffee and fresh out of the shower with wet hair and was happy to see I weigh 4 pounds less then the scale at the dr said I did! I know the dr scales are always off, it was also after I had drank a ton of water and had lunch. But I'm still going with it for my starting weight. It will make me feel better about my progress on Friday and motivate me that I can do this!!!

Tonight I work 1-9pm. I'm hoping we get out early (we've been getting out early, like 8:30, because it's slow and we can get done closing earlier usually) because that'll make it easier for me to workout, but either way I'm going to do it. I keep telling myself it's just 30 minutes, a quick shower, and then into bed because i have to get up early tomorrow and tomorrow is a long day at work. I MIGHT not work out tomorrow. I hope to, but i figure since I worked out last night and I'm going to work out tonight then I can skip tomorrow if I feel like I need to.

Usually when I close at work I'll get fast food for the hubs and I on the way home and that's unhealthy because the type of food I'm eating but also because I'm eating so late and then going to bed full. It's bad! I need to break that habit. So I'm taking a lean cuisine with me to work for dinner and I made sure that we have some stuff hubs can make himself for dinner, left overs from last night (chicken tacos - which I only had 1 of instead of my usual 2!) and there's also stuff in the freezer he can easily make himself. I'm planning ahead because that's the only way I can succeed at this.

Can't wait for Friday to see how much my hard work pays off!


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A fail and a success

I failed at the love dare. I still want to read the book and do it, I've just been so busy!

I just got back from a long weekend home in Cali. Hubby stayed home, it was just a much needed trip to visit my family. My brother was gone for about 7 months, testing, training and working for the state department. He was in Iraq part of that time and he was home for 30 days before heading back Wednesday to Iraq for 100. His contract is 100 days working in Iraq then 35 days off (5 days are pretty much travel days so really 30 days off) rinse, repeat, over and over. He likes it, the money's good, and he's safer then when he was in the army. I also recently found out that my mom has to have a hysterectomy this month, so I really wanted to spend some time with her (I found that out after I had already planned my trip home, so it worked out well). I got to see my sister and grandma too! My mom and I say the hunger games movie...AMAZING! I went into it with pretty low expectations after hearing about some of the ways it was different from the book, but I loved it!

The success was that I started the couch 2 5k program today! I also ate really healthy today and stocked up on food for the week at the grocery store today! I had my annual (pap) with my doctor while I was home (I really need to find a gyno here-she's just a nurse practitioner and we didn't really get into the TTCing, she mainly just said that if we get to a year of actively TTCing and i haven't gotten pregnant to see a gyno) anyways...i got weighed and OMFG, i weigh 30+ pounds more then my previous heaviest. About 15-20 pounds more then i thought i could possibly weigh! Disgusting. No wonder I feel so crappy about myself and so fat! Especially after spending the weekend with my really fit and healthy brother and his girlfriend who has an amazing body (that she works super hard for) she's a personal trainer and fitness instructor. So I came home with a plan and a vengeance to make changes NOW! I downloaded an app to my iPhone for the c25k running program and I did it. Sure I struggled and I'm sure I looked pretty freakin pathetic during the jogging parts, but I got off my ass and did it. And it felt good!

The hubby and I are planning to go to Park City for our 2 year anniversary this year (we went last year for our 1 year and we plan on making it a yearly anniversary tradition) and I want to feel good (healthy) and feel good about myself. Fit into some of my cute clothes that are too small right now. Have confidence and enjoy time with my hubby without focusing on how gross, fat, yucky I feel. So until then I plan on working my butt off and being healthy with my eating to lose as much weight as I can. So until then TTCing is going on the back burner. I want to chart my temp during this time to try to better understand my cycle and we won't prevent anything from happening, but seeing my weight made me realize how unhealthy I am right now and how truly unprepared my body is to be pregnant and carry a baby.

I'm going to be weighing in on Fridays. I feel like that way I have the whole week to work towards it and "be good" and then seeing the results will help me be better and not cheat over the weekend. It'll either push me to be diligent to make sure I don't ruin the weight I lose during the week, or if I did gain or stay the same that week then it will push me to work hard throughout the weekend so that I can have better results the next week. I'm not sure if I want to reveal my weight. I'm really embarrassed about it, but I will definitely share my loses or gains.

I'm ready to lose this weight!


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