Happy New Year!

This time last year I was bringing in the new year sparkling cider in my wine glass. I remember sitting on the couch and looking at the Christmas tree and thinking about the fact that I was pregnant. And thanking God. I wanted it for so long and tired for so long and it was finally real (although not officially yet since I wouldn't have the blood test for a few more days). This past year was amazing. I enjoyed (mostly) 37 weeks of a very healthy pregnancy and delivered my perfect baby boy at 37 weeks 1 day. He's already grown and changed so much in this past 4 short months since he arrived, I can't wait to see what the next year holds...and at the same time I want to keep him little forever!

Anyways...I don't want to make New Years resolutions because I feel like they are overrated. By the middle of January you've already forgotten about them or failed at them. So I'm not starting a diet/workout regime on January 1st or anything like that. BUT I do have goals for 2014 and here they are :
*Eat healthier; aim to eat 3 smaller meals and 2 snacks a day. Eat more fruits and veggies, make healthier dinners. Eat at the dinner table as a family more often.
*Work out. Be more active. Get stronger. Even if it's just for 5 minutes aim to do something everyday to accomplish this.
*Get my sh!t together. Get more organized. Get ride of clutter.
*Keep up on household chores. Do 1 load of laundry a day (or fold what's in the basket if there isn't laundry to do). Do one chore every day. Vacuum one day. Dust another. Clean bathrooms one day. Mop floors another. Clean kitchen one day. And make a cleaning schedule for things that need to be done less often (wiping down walls and baseboards).
*Improve my marriage. Make time for each other. Go on dates. Talk to my husband more.
*Find a way to give. Somewhere to volunteer, or to give to the less fortunate.


For now that is all of them, I might think of more!


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Night #4

Last night Jackson went to bed easily. He fell asleep about half way thru his bottle and I put him in his crib at 8. At 12:30 he woke up and I went in and put his bink in, within 5 minutes he was back to sleep! He woke up again at 6 and I let him fuss again for a few minutes because he was just fussing not crying. He fell back to sleep within minutes and at 7 when he woke up I went and got him! Pretty good night. I'd love him to sleep from 8-7 every night!


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A deep breath

Today was the first day in a long time that I felt like I could take a deep breath and just relax. When I was working I was constantly on the go and didn't have time to get anything done. I was getting by, barely. I was doing the bare minimum and was slowly drowning. There just weren't enough hours in the day for work, spending time with Jackson, laundry, cooking, cleaning, keeping myself clean, me time and time for josh. Add Christmas fast approaching and my in laws coming to visit and the only thing keeping me from losing it was knowing I'd be done working soon. The laundry had piled up, Jackson's room was a mess...heck the whole house was a mess, the Christmas shopping wasn't done. I had my last day and left that day feeling a little lighter...until I thought about all the things I needed to do in the next few days...the next day (Saturday) we went shopping and I almost finished my Christmas shopping, Sunday my mom watched a very fussy Jackson while I cleaned the house, Monday we finished our Christmas shopping and went to the grocery store to get everything for Christmas dinner. Josh's parents where here so I was cooking for them, cleaning up after everyone and taking care of Jackson. Thank god for my mom, she helped so much. They left Friday evening for there hotel and to head home Saturday morning. My mom left Friday morning to go to CA to visit. Saturday josh and I went to lunch and the grocery store. I did some laundry on saturday too. And today I just took care of Jackson and relaxed. For the first time in a long time I only had to worry about me and Jackson. I fed him, played with him and we snuggled and in between all that, while he napped, I did some more laundry and I sewed. I've had burp cloths I've needed to make for baby gifts and more blankets for Jackson and I got to work on those. I made dinner for josh and myself and cleaned up the kitchen after. I didn't have to entertain anyone or make sure other people where happy and comfortable. I didn't even take a shower today. After Jackson went to bed I finished my sewing and now I need to go to sleep. Of course I still have a to do list a mile long, but there's no rush. I'll get it done. It's nice to just relax for a minute. To breath. To have time to do something I love, for myself and no one else. To snuggle and enjoy my little boy.


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Night #3

Last night was Jackson's third night in his room. He fell asleep after only drinking about half his bottle and I hate to put him bed thinking he didn't get enough to eat. So josh tried to get him to finish his bottle and ended up waking him up completely. He finished his bottle while watching music videos on you tube on daddy's phone. So he was pretty awake when I put him in his crib, it was sometime between 8:30-9. And he was pissed. He cried, I went in twice to try to put his bink back in and calm him down but he wasn't having it. He cried on and off until almost 10pm when he finally fell asleep. BUT he did sleep all night and didn't wake up until 6:45am! I'm so happy he's sleeping through he night and I really hope he keeps that up! Tonight I started his bedtime routine about 15 minutes early to see if he'd finish more of his bottle but he didn't. He only finished half (in about a 45 minute time frame) so I decided that at 8 no matter how much he'd finished if he was still sleeping and not drinking it I would put him to bed. So I did. At 8 I took him and put him on his crib. He opened his eyes and looked at, I put his bink in and left the room, when I got into the bedro and turned on the monitor he was already asleep. It's now 9:30 and he's still sound asleep. I figured if he wakes up before 10pm I will give him the rest of the bottle. Doesn't look like he'll wake up and hopefully he'll sleep through the night. If he does wake up I'll feel so bad thinking he's hungry that I'll probably nurse him.

I'm torn on if I should keep getting up in the middle of the night (like 3am) to pump or not. I love the extra milk I get at that time, but I don't know if it's worth then loss of sleep. And I don't know how it's possible but I feel more tired now that he's sleeping longer then I did when I was getting up a few times a night! What the heck?!

I've been taking fenugreek to help boost my supply to keep up with him but I think it might be making his tummy hurt, so I've stopped taking it and I'm terrified that I won't be able to keep up. I'm trying to stay supper hydrated and pump/nurse extra times throughout the day to try to keep it up/boost my supply.


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4 month pics

I finally got around to taking Jackson's 4 month pictures...10 days late, but better late then never right?!









And a comparison:



He's getting so big! And changing so much! His little personality is really starting to come out and it's getting easier and easier to get a smile from him! He LOVES to snuggle and be held but he's getting more independent and able to lay on a blanket on the floor or on the bed and "play". He's getting better at grabbing toys and of course everything goes straight into his mouth. He has laughed twice and I can't wait to hear it more and for him to giggle! He's starting to outgrow his pants so he is starting to wear size 9 month pants! Everything else is still 6 months. The white onesie he's wearing in the pics is 0-3 months. I need to buy some bigger white onesies for his monthly pics because I don't think this one will for his 5 month pics!

Here's some random pics:
Passed out last night:


After his bath tonight:

Night #2

Last night was Jackson's second night in his room! And he slept from 8:30pm to 6:30am without waking up! Of course I kept waking up expecting him to wake up so I didn't really get to take advantage of it and get a good nights sleep, but it was better sleep then I've gotten in a long time! At about 6:20 I decided to pump because I know I was way too full to fed him and couldn't wait any longer. Of course he woke up while I was pumping! So I just pumped 5 oz and stopped and fed him. Since I've gotten as much as 11 oz in the am I know he got plenty to eat!

Last night I fed him cereal while we were eating dinner. He did better but is still getting the hang of it and didn't swallow much. So I put the rest of the cereal into his bedtime bottle. It wasn't much and it was pretty water downed with breast milk. I hate wasting the breast milk and I thought maybe it would help full him up and keep him full longer. Maybe it helped or maybe he was just ready to sleep through the night or maybe it was just a fluke. We'll see if it continues. But I think I'll probably keep doing that with the cereal, whatever he doesn't eat just add it to his bedtime bottle. We do cereal right before his bath, and he has his bedtime bottle right after his bath.


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Video monitor

Back when Jackson was 2 months old we tried to put him into his room and I just wasn't comfortable with it yet and he was still waking up to nurse and it just wasn't the right time yet, but during those 2 or 3 nights I decided we really need a videos monitor when we do put him into his room. So Josh mentioned it to his parents and they said that they'd get it for us for Christmas! So we went to babies r us today and they got it for us. So we put it up and tonight he's in his crib! He passed out while josh was giving him his bottle, he didn't even finish his bottle, and I took him and took him into his room and put him into his crib and he didn't even wake up. He was sound asleep. So he didn't have his bink in. He slept for about 30 minutes before he woke up. He didn't cry though, he just moved around for about 30 minutes. Finally I decided to go in there and put his bink in his mouth. After that he was asleep within about 5 minutes! It's been close to 45 minutes and he's still sleeping! I'm just laying on bed writing posts (the Christmas one and this one) and watching him. It's so neat being able to see him! And the monitor is awesome! I can move the camera from the monitor screen and zoom in! It even tells us the temp in there on the screen! I have a feeling I won't get much sleep tonight! I miss my baby being within arms reach!







He slept until 3am! He woke up and started crying so I went in there to reassure him since it's his first night in there. I put his bink back in and rubbed his head for a minute. He had managed (for the second night in a row) to get his left hand out of the swaddle so I fixed that. Then I left the room. He started crying with a minute it two and he cried for 25 minutes before quieting down. He stopped crying and within 5 minutes was back asleep without his bink in!

He woke up again at 4:25 and I decided to wait 30 minutes this time (like our pedi recommended) he cried for 20 mins before falling back to sleep. The next time he wakes up I will go and nurse him. I'm hoping it's 7 or later, but I have a feeling I'll be lucky if I'm able to get even 1 more hour of sleep!

He woke up at 7. Not too horrible for the first night! Hopefully it will continue to get better over the next few nights! I'd love to get him sleeping from 8pm to 7am!

Jackson's first Christmas!

Jackson had a great first Christmas! He decided to sleep in. Since he never sleeps past 7 am we decided that Greg and Judy would come over at 8:30am. Well he slept until 8:45am! And of course the one time he does that I don't get to enjoy it and sleep in, I had to get up and ready for them to be here! So he got up and we went downstairs. I fed him and we all ate breakfast (cinnamon rolls). Then we opened presents! My mom got me some great gifts, 2 shirts from old navy, $50 ulta gift card, nice thick and warm socks, and some stocking stuffers. Josh got me candy and he had me open a gift and it was a box of trash bags and I didn't think it was funny at all and so didn't get it! I was like why in the hell would you get me these? We have a whole big box of trash bags (we buy the huge box at SAMs club) I was so baffled and finally he said "just open it!" It had a really nice silver heart bracelet that has diamonds on it. I was shocked! It's really nice! Jackson got lots of toys and clothes! I'll have to post some pics of the actual toys he got. Here's some pics :






Opening presents:





Here's what he did while Nana and I made dinner! Such a big boy! And he sat at the table in his high chair!


Dinner, nothing fancy, but it was nice and yummy!
Our new floors are on the right of the fire place! I can't wait for them to be installed on the 2nd!





Playing later in the evening (spit up ALL over me and himself so had to have an outfit change during playtime-notice the bottom 2 pics is a different onesie!):

Momma's boy

Now that is getting older we're starting to see that he has a preference for me. Before, as long as he's needs we're being met, he was pretty happy. He often would prefer me, but that's because I was the food source and nursing was what he needed. We'll now when he's fussy sometimes I'm the only one he will calm down for. This happened last night. He was fussy and my mom had him while I was making dinner. He was tired and we were hoping he'd take a little nap since bedtime was still a few hours away but he just wouldn't settle no matter what my mom did. Once dinner was ready my mom told me to eat then she'd give him to me and she'd eat. So we did that. Well as soon as I took him he calmed right down. I sat where she had been sitting, in our rocking recliner chair and put him on my chest and he fell asleep. No boob needed for comfort like he used to need/want me for. He just plain and simple wanted his momma! It was so sweet! I love that he knows who I am now and that he prefers me. When I went back to work I was so scared that he would start to prefer my mom since he was spending so much time with her. There is really something special about a boy and his momma! And I love being this little guys momma. I never imagined how close the bond would be between us.
This was last night:











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Sleep update

So last night wasn't as good as the previous night but it was still pretty good! He woke up once earlier in the night, maybe midnight-ish, and he fussed for a few minutes, I put his bink in and he fell right back to sleep. Then he woke up at 5 and cried quite a bit, maybe 15 mins before falling back to sleep. I just kept putting the bink back I'm and rubbing his head. Then he slept until 7:15! I was so tempted to just pick him up and nurse him at 5. I just wanted to comfort him and snuggle him, I hate to see him upset like that, but I know that would be counter productive and I know getting him to sleep thru the night is best for him and for us.


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Sleep

So Friday night we started sleep "training" I say "training" because mainly I just stopped feeding Jackson during the night. We also tried to transition out of the swaddle. We started with 1 arm out and he did ok. He cried for about 15 minutes before falling asleep. He woke up about 3 times and cried 15-20 minutes each time. I didn't pick him up, but the rock and play is right next to the bed so I leaned over and put in his bink and rocked him and rubbed his head and held his hand. Saturday night I swaddled him with both arms out and he just cried and cried. He kept rubbing his eyes and was so tired but just couldn't settle down do I pulled him out and re swaddled with just one arm out and he was able to go to sleep. He woke up 2-3 times and I did the same thing as the night before. Last night I was exhausted and thought maybe he just wasn't ready for us to stop swaddling, the main goal is to just getting him sleeping through the night without being fed, so I swaddled him both arms in and he fell asleep with out even fussing...and...slept until 6am without waking up (he went to sleep around 9pm)!!! Then he nursed for about 20 mins and was back to sleep in the rock and play until 8:15am! It was awesome! I'm guessing it was a fluke so we'll see how tonight goes. He's currently asleep and swaddled. I would love to get him sleeping from between 8-9 pm to 7am. For now if he wakes up anytime after 6am I'm feeding him.

Today we went and finished our Christmas shopping (me, my mom and Jackson) and we went into my work to take my gift for everyone for the 20 days of Christmas thing we do. Jackson tried on this cute little hat!







I finally pulled out some of my Christmas decorations and decorated a little bit.






I cleaned the house yesterday and moved this bookshelf to block off the kitchen (we have to block it off from our big dog but the way it was the dinning area was pretty much blocked off and no one could sit at the counter so I changed things). It might not look the best there but the extra storage it gives me is amazing! No more mail, diaper bag, purse on the counter! And baskets to collect all the other junk that piles up on the counter! I haven't put the tree up and keep going back and forth on wether or not I'm going to put it up. We don't really have the room to put it up and it just seems like a hassle at this point, but it's Jackson's first Christmas and I really want to get pictures of him by the tree....and at this point it seems like it's too late to put it up but I feel like I'll regret it if I don't. I just can't decide. I was kinda hoping josh would just get it out and put it up but that hasn't happened.

Cereal

The doctor gave us the go ahead to start baby cereal! He recommended oatmeal or whole grain so I got apple sweet potato whole grain cereal! We tried it tonight and he didn't seem to like it very much. I'm sure he will get used to it and like it! He pretty much just spit it right back out and made a yucky face! We'll keep trying it every night for awhile before moving on to fruit and veggie purées. I plan on making his food.















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4 month well check

Yesterday we had Jackson's 4 month well check! He's 15.15 lbs and 25 inches long, 60th percentile for both! And his head is 17 inches, 90th percentile! The kid has a big head! The dr said he looks great! He said we can go ahead and start solids and to start with whole grain cereal or oatmeal once a day and then start giving any/all the stage 1 foods after that! At 6 month he'll go up to eating solids twice a day. We picked up some apple sweet potato whole grain cereal and we'll probably try it Friday! We also talked about sleep. He said J should be in his room and he does not need to eat at night. He gave us a plan to achieve that. Put him to bed in his room and whenever he wakes let him cry for 30 minutes, if he's still crying go and sit next to his crib (without saying anything) for 1 minute then leave again for 30 minutes and just keep doing that. He said it'll be a really rough few nights but it's better for everyone in the long run. And to stop swaddling so he has access to his hands to self soothe. And also that at this point being swaddled will start making him mad because he needs to be able to move around. I was already thinking it was time to stop swaddling. We are going to be getting a video monitor soon so that will put my mind at ease having him in his room. We started transitioning out of the swaddle tonight, I swaddled him with 1 arm out. It's 12:50 am and he's nursing right now. He usually doesn't wake up to eat until 3-4am, I don't know if it's having 1 hand free or that he got shoots today that had him wake up earlier. He fell asleep easily though (in the rock and play). We may start this "sleep training" on Friday night or we might wait until we get the video monitor. I'll probably swaddle him with both arms out tomorrow night and then start putting him into a sleep sack at night after that! He got shots today and hated it of course. Poor little guy screamed his head off but calmed down quickly once they were over. His legs seemed sore after and he would cry if we touched where he got his shots. He just wanted to cuddle all afternoon and was a little fussy and sleepy.

*He's still in size 2 diapers and we are using and loving the up&up (target) brand diapers.
*He's wearing 3-6 months clothes and is finally wearing 3-6 month sleepers although they are still pretty big!
*He still isn't a very good napper. He'd much rather nap in someone's arms then laying down. When he does nap laying down he does best on his tummy.
*He's so aware of everything around him now and he's always looking around at everything. He loves the tv when it catches his eye and we've introduced him to cartoons (horrible I know). And he'll actually sit and watch cartoons for 15+ minutes. He kicks his feet like crazy and "talks" to the tv.
*He smiles more and more easily every day it seems.
*He's still on the brink of laughing and hasn't actually laughed out loud yet but does this smile accompanied by a coo that is adorable.
*He still loves bath time. He kicks his feet and sucks on the wash cloth and his hands. He'll probably love bath toys pretty soon! I sat him up in his tub once and he loved that! I'm considering getting him an inflatable tub I saw that he can sit up in.
*He loves sitting up and being able to look around at everything and be right in the center of the action. I need to get a cart/high chair cover because he's going to be able to sit in those pretty soon!
*He still hates tummy time and only really tolerates it when we do it on the boppy pillow.
*He loves "standing up". I'll sit on the couch with my leaf straight out on the ottoman and him sitting on my legs facing me and holding his hands, with very little pulling on my side he'll go up into the standing position and then plop back down on his butt over and over again.
*He's getting better at grabbing and holding onto toys and putting everything right into his mouth.
*He loves to eat and doesn't miss a meal! He's eating 5 oz every 3 hours when he has bottles and eats every 2-3 hours when he's being nursed. I'm so thankful I've been able to keep up with him and breast feed so far! I'm hoping we'll make it to 1 year!
*He loves his blanket! It's so funny now, he'll rub it against his face and goes to sleep easier when it's right up against his face. He's a blankie and binky baby for sure!
*He loves to "talk" and it's so adorable when we have conversations!
*He's starting to recognize me, josh and my mom and definitely showing a preference for us over strangers.
*He's still a major cuddle bug and I love it! Snuggling with him is my favorite!
*He's starting to get distracted when nursing and will often smile at me or talk to me while nursing. Often he'll suck a few times then pull of and "talk" or look around, then suck a little more then "talk"/look around and just keep doing that. It's cute and funny but sometimes I'm like come on kid just eat!

I'm so amazed by him everyday and I love watching him change and grow and learn. I look at him and I can't believe he's mine and how absolutely perfect he is. I also can't believe how completely I love this little guy, my heart is so full. I'm so lucky to be his momma.

Rubbing his blanket against his face:


Sleepy baby:


How he sleeps best:


Tired baby after his shots today:


He loves his blanky and his binky:





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Seeing Santa

We took Jackson to cabelas to visit Santa yesterday. There was a line but it wasn't too bad. He was fussy though. He still has this cold and has been congested the past few days. He was not in a good mood! But he sat on Santas lap.





Nana wanted a pic too!


After that we went to the outlets and had lunch at Johnny rockets. We forgot the stroller so after we ate josh took Jackson to the car and fed him while me and my mom ran into a few stores!

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Happy baby

It's getting easier and easier to get smiles out of this baby! We haven't gotten a real laugh yet but sort of a smile accompanied by a coo sometimes. In these pics I was say "I'm...gonna...get you!" And with each part I would get closer to him until I was right in his face!









I wanted to get a pic of him in the rock and play to compare to when he was just a few days old:












Look how much my baby has grown!


He loves to sleep on his tummy:


After his bath...eating his hands:





And more cute sleeping pics: