In fact it's just getting harder. I just found out, via the awesomeness that is FB (aka face.book) that a mutual high school friend of me and my hubby's had a baby girl today. I didn't even know that she was expecting. She got married shortly before us. I haven't really talked to her since high school. But it hurts. It's one thing when someone I know, whose been with their hubby or guy for a long time has a baby. But this hits close to home for some reason. They haven't been together much longer (maybe even the same amount of time) as me and J, but she got pregnant 9 months ago and just had a baby?! WTH?! I guess if I'd have known she was preggo it might have been easier. Who knows?! But it hurts. And I guess as time goes on it'll only get worse. Even though things are "on hold" for now, were "not trying, but not preventing" it still hurts. And knowing that we've been "not preventing" for 7 months makes it hurt even more. I want to be a momma. I want to make my hubby a daddy. I can only hope and pray that it is in the plans for our future. *hopefully the (very) near future. Everyday I'm reminded of this want that is so deep, even when I try to deny it, postpone it, reason with it, make excuses. I want it more then anything. I'd give anything for it.
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