So my in-laws got us baby gates as our Christmas gifts this year. I REALLY wanted a new entertainment center for he living room. The one we have josh got when he bought the old tv, when he first moved to New Mexico, before I moved there, it's not horrible I guess. It's just not my style. It's hard to explain so here's a pic :
It's just plain and ugly. The shelves are glass and the bottom one got broken during one of our moves, but it serves our needs as far as holding the TV, DVD player and cable box. I would LOVE to mount our tv to the wall and have a pretty cabinet under it to hold DVDs, Josh's video games, DVD player and cable box and run the wires through the wall to hide them, but that would require putting holes in the wall and since we plan on moving within the next year or two we want to minimize the damage to the walls. And if my mom moves here while we still live here we'll move our tv to the upstairs living room that we aren't even using so she can have the whole basement to herself (big living room, bedroom and bathroom). So for now it works and when we do move our needs might change as far as the type of entertainment center that will work so for now its better to just stick with what we have. Blah. But oh well. I can deal with it. I do have plans to make the basement look better though! More on that later.
So, we decided to ask them for something that we actually NEED. We've had our 2 cats since we lived in New Mexico, then when we bought our house we adopted Brody. My baby, he's a 12 pound mini pincher chuiuaua mix. Well josh wanted a REAL dog so we got Sadie, a black lab, whose now (I'm guessing) well over 70 pounds at almost 8 months old.
She's big and she's so bad. She gets into everything! She has eaten raw meat that was defrosting in a freezer bag off the counter, numerous Tupperware containers, candles, rolls of paper towels, pretty much anything she can get her mouth on. So we are currently using a baby gate (as pictures above) that's broken to keep her out of our bedroom since she chewed a hole in our duvet cover and really likes to eat my underwear and anything else she can dig out of the hamper. We have to keep her out of the kitchen so we're using 2 cardboard boxes that had big posters in that josh got sent for work. They are slim and perfect size to block off the kitchen on two sides. One is one the side of the kitchen that goes into the dinning room and we leave it there. The other we move to block the kitchen and basement depending on if we're in the basement or not. So we've been wanting the kind of gates that you can leave in place and easily open to go through them instead of having to move them. So Josh's parents bought them for us for Christmas. It's something that we need, but didn't want to spend the money on. And it's something that we'll eventually need when we have kids since we have stairs and will more probably have stairs on our next home too. I seriously can not wait to get the gates. We should get them this week and I feel old for being excited about freakin baby gates! Wow. I think I'm just babbling to try to keep my mind off of the consult.
But seriously there are only 2 days of work...2 dinners...3 nights of sleep before my consult. I'm so excited, I seriously can't wait! Yet at the same time I'm terrified that it'll be bad news. That it will be something that will require hardcore treatments in order for us to have a baby, because we can't afford that. And even if we are able to save money and somehow get IVF if we need it I'm terrified that we'd only me able to so it once. And I hate the way this might sound but as much as I want a baby, I don't just want 1. I want a family. I want kids. At least 2 but I'm thinking 3 is my perfect number. In my opinion one of the greatest gifts you can give your child is that of a sibling. So I'm hoping and praying that its hormonal, or something that we be an "easy" fix. By easy I mean less invasive, less expensive, something that we can handle financially and that I can handle emotionally. Something that we can easily fix. So that we can have a baby. And so that when were ready for another we can have hope that we can do it emotionally and financially. I feel that I am meant to be a mother. I am meant to carry my own children. I am meant to get pregnant. And now I know that this struggle was meant to be a part of my journey. I just pray and hope that seeing this RE gets us to the end of this journey. That it gets is pregnant. It's seemed like such a huge step that I wasn't ready to take for so long and now it just feels right. Don't get me wrong I'm still terrified, but it feels like its just the next step on my journey. Before it was; period, use ovulation predictors, sex when I think it'll get us pregnant, wait, be disappointed again. Rinse, repeat. Now it will go similar but with help, I'm not sure what help maybe a pill, maybe shots, monitoring via ultrasound I'm sure and hopefully that will result in a different outcome. A positive outcome, in the form of 2 lines on a pregnancy test. All I can do now is hope and pray.
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